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I shave my legs,

I sit down to pee.

And I can justify any shopping spree.

Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon.

I can get a massage without getting a hard-on.

I can balance the checkbook,

I can pump my own gas.

Can talk to my friends about the size of my a$$.

My beauty's a masterpiece and yes, it takes long.

At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.

I don't drive in circles, at any cost.

And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.

I never forget an important date.

You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.

I don't watch movies with lots of gore.

Don't need instant replay to remember the score.

I won't lose my hair, I won't get jock itch.

And just cause I'm assertive, don't call me a b***h!

Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her.

In your dreams, my dear, cause I can do better!

Flowers are okay,

But jewelry's best.

Look at me you idiot...

Not at my chest !!!

I don't have a problem,

With expressing my feelings.

I know when you're lying,

You look at the ceiling.

DON'T call me a GIRL ,

a BABE or a CHICK .

I am a WOMAN.

Get it? you d**k!?!