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Welcome to Hell
My life....
Emotion breakdown Part 1
Well... I hate it here... I hate North Carolina... I want to go back home.... I was home in South Carolina for the weekend, and even got my dad to agree to let me stay for 2 weeks... but then that b***h of a fiance (sp?) of his got him to change his mind. I'm now here infront of her computer typing this. I would of done it earlier but didn't really know what to say.

North Carolina can kiss my a**. Apparently they don't like goths here and thats the main reason why I can't make any friends. Brenda said to me the other day how I should change the way I dress so I can make friends. I said 'If they wanna be stereo type me just by my clothes then they can kiss my a**. I don't need friends like that." I mean, back home people accepted me for who I was and that was that, but people here or more 'conservative' so say's Brenda. She wants me to buy a whole new wardrobe with just plane jeans and plain t-shirts. Besides that my dad doens't even know how to be a dad. We barely talk... he asks how my day is, say's good night before he heads to bed.... I spend more time talking to Brenda then him....

She thinks its just because he doesn't know how to communicate with me, I mean for christ sake I'm his son! He should be able to talk to me about stuff, I don't need her talking to me about everything and just pissing me off to the point I hate her. My mom now wants to tell me how much she loves me which is nothing but a bunch of bull s**t. If she loved me she wouldn't of let me go, she wouldn't of let her a*****e of a boyfriend get in my face and yell at me all the time. Then I wouldn't of had to runaway at night and call her from my friends house just because I didn't feel safe. Well now I am safer then I wanted to be.... even my own aunt doesn't know whats worse... me living with my mom... or my dad....






User Comments: [5] [add]
Legendary_Spykezilla
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Tue Jun 21, 2005 @ 05:24pm
*Pats your back* Hey man, listen. You and I have alot in common. I dont talk to my dad either. You have to pull him off to the side and talk to him. Make him listen to you, let his know who you are. About the GF, Im sorry you dont like her but she cant be all bad if she's talking to you. Just let things play themselve out, there will people who wont like you for who you are.....Hell I didnt for along time remember? People will warm up to you if you give them a chance my friend. Just be yourself, people will follow. Thats my advise, but you may want to talk to Roka. The dude will probaly help more than I can. lol. Good luck man, and remember......Home is where the heart is.


commentCommented on: Thu Jun 23, 2005 @ 11:54am
eek man your dad seems a lil antisocial. look all i have to say is this. Bro people shouldnt judge you by the way you dress. i dress semi gothic and i wear the same pants everyday(basicly). those people are jerks. if you need anyone to talk to you can just talk to me well i am your sister. but i hope you keep this thought in mind. be who you are, dont let people judge you for what you wear, if that even means you have to be outgoing, hell take a shot for the stars. i will see ya later rekol

Love your sis-in-law,
BrittBratt247



BrittBratt247
Community Member
Dual_Nature
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Thu Jun 23, 2005 @ 06:53pm
Like I've said before, I'm just a friend online, and don't really understand your home life, but...
I am very sorry about how things have been. And probably how they will be for some time, until things begin to settle down. Just remember that it isn't time to worry, and try not to let the people there get to you. And above all, no matter what,
DO NOT CONFORM.

See you soon. I am sorry.

-Ryuu


commentCommented on: Sun Jun 26, 2005 @ 04:49pm
I really know where you are comming from.When my dad died and I got stuck with a new one all he does is point out all my flaws and degrade me behind my back.What you have to do is prove to him that your better than he thinks you are.If he doesn't want to talk to you, then you have to force him to.Hell I can't get mine to give me the time of day. As for Brenda....well I'm not sure how long she's known you but I'm sure just like you'll have to learn to warm up to her, she still has to do the same for you.Yeah, North Carolina sucks thats a granted but sometimes South carolina isn't all that much better. Still I would have loved if you would have stayed, so I could come visit;you were really close to where I lived.People in life tend to be very judgemental.I dress goth and of course its causes me the most trouble.They tend to think we are lesser beings then them because we don't choose to let our asses hang out of our pants, or let the whole world see what sort of underwear we are wearing. Everywhere you go there are going to be those that will have a problem with you for whatever reason. You'll in time learn to get past that and see that their thoughts/opionon's don't matter worth a rat's a** when it comes down to it.Just be true to yourself and those that you know care the most about you.I hope and wish the best for you always.



vamp_aisha
Community Member
~Dark_Heart~Black_Nails~
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Tue Jun 28, 2005 @ 10:52pm
hey,
hey hun, i knew some of this from what you've told me over the phone and stuff but... once again i had no idea about how bad your life really was... i mean... i'm ur gurlfriend offline and i worry about this kind of stuff... and i think living with your mom was much worse but then again thats just me... from what i hear about ur mom from josh i dislike her, very very much... even from the way u talk about her but...anyway... u don't have to tell me if u do not wish me to know and i dont' thin i'm gonna read any further in ur journal thingy..... i just really hope things'll get better with your life... i'm going to try and go down... ((oops! up excuse me! lol -remembering our last conversation-)) home to see you when u come down...
love always,
Jacky R.Sherwood
aka
Mina_Lnoth


User Comments: [5] [add]
 
 
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