Finally Over Pain erupted explosively through out various parts of my body the feeling of loss and regret consumed me. ‘Why?’ I ask my self, I try to be good I’ve always tried but, trying is just not good enough. A blow to the back of my head turns out the lights and I allow darkness to consume me where ells was I to go but to the blissful darkness in the deep recesses of my mind. My sleep how ever was not so blissful as unconsciousness had been and was plagued with the images and fresh memories of his torture. My mind repeated the violent blows to my every limb, pain again consumed me when I twitched in my tormented sleep. A week breath passed through my dried throat and chapped lips. Not a word could have been uttered nor would be uttered. I could not think what felt worse the mental scaring or the physical, I knew that both were painful and I would never be rid of either. ‘Why me?’ another thought passed through my sub conscious mind as my eyes lift solemnly to the ceiling of the room I currently resided. I hated my life, I hated myself, I hated everything at the particular moment and wanted nothing more to either be dead my self or have everything ells around me dead. I knew that not everything would die just because I commanded it, there was only one way out of my sorrow and oh how I had only fantasized about such an act. Opening my eyes further to concentrate I observe the brutal damage to my body, I glare in disgust at my self and comment briefly at my bodies pathetic weakness and uselessness. A knife, carelessly discarded on the floor in a reasonable reach from my already out stretched hand caught my eye. I look at it longingly and wonder just how blissful eternal darkness would feel, no one would care, no one would suffer. Against my bodies urgent pleading to remain still I refuse its wanting and continue with my own. My fingers gingerly grasping the knife already crusted with my own blood. A tear comes to my eye, I’m unable to believe that the end is so near. My breath catches and ever so slowly I lift the knife to hover over my chest and gasp painfully as I allow it to strike. Darkness yet again sets in and once again I am happy. It is finally over.
Cuddly Koneko · Sat Dec 01, 2007 @ 06:34pm · 0 Comments |