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Today started out pretty good I got things like food and gum right after each other and then I was told to drive by my mom lets just say it turned out as bad as it started I had to stop before I hit the curb on a turn and got out so my mom could drive because she told me to stop and let her drive. Even though I used to drive my Grandpa's golf cart all the time and was really good at it.

But thats not what really bugs me its the fact that even the stupid people who never can get anything done in their life like my brothers can succeed at something on their first try and I was booted out of the driver's seat within the first few minutes. It makes me feel inadequate like I am nothing but a failure. But hey what is to be expected I never felt like I even succeeded at much of anything before so why would I do so at driving. Afterwards my mom even said that my brothers did better than me and they had to use a manual car and that she expected me to do better.

That's what really bugs me that people expect me to do something better than everyone else because I was a smart child who used to excel at everything and now I am a faint remnant of that and I want them to see it but they seem to ignore it and automatically assume that I will be perfect at everything and never fail of even be average. I always have to pretend that nothing is ever wrong and can never let myself be me for fear of dissappointing someone even if I don't know them all I know is that I hate my life and counsiling culd never help me at all only make me remember things that make me hate myself more.

As usual enjoy your life while it is happy because it eventually goes down the drain just like mine did a long time ago. crying