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Gin's (Guh-ee-n) Journal.
Friends , Friends are closer to me than the one I love..... I wish it were'nt so but that just means they care for me.

The one I care for , She has stolen my heart and my soul , no matter how badly I am treated I cannot retreat.

I will not accept defeat , the only one who shares all my likes and dislikes , the only one who will settle for no less than , "Exactly what I want" , That is our problem , now only her's , I got over my moral of "I wont pick a girl unless she is exactly what I want" because , I will never get what I want , I setteled for her because 6 months after seeing her for the first time I fell in love with her.

Perhaps it is something I did?

Did I do something wrong? something to upset her?

I am sorry for falling in love with you.

but I will never stop being in love with you.

I had no dreams until I loved you , after that my only dream was to care for you , become supportive for more than just us and then.....

and then one day marry , buy a house , and raise a healthy happy family.

My dreams were crushed by what you said , "I will never love you" , and now I can only cry every day and every night.

I hide my tears from those that I know , for even if they try to help me , it will only cause them pain.

I have had crush's and been attracted to many woman , but you were the first one I have ever loved.
I wish you no pain , no grief , only happiness , even as you condemn me.

My family , they drink , they smoke , they do every drug imaginable. They all yell at me even my sibling.

I have learned in life that if I do one good thing I get three bad things in return.

my Lionheart? that was a symbol of my willpower and love. with it gone , I have little willpower.

but my friends , they know something is wrong , the ones I know closely are prying , and the ones I know from far away are helping me keep whats left of my willpower.

soon I will go to one of my less close friends , whom is also my loves closest friend , and ask her if she will talk to my love.


If my love is afraid that she will lose me like her last love than why does she push me away even as I get on my hands and knees crawling closer to her?


no one can make a promise saying that they will never break up , but her love did , and he broke that promise.

I will not make a promise to her , but I will make a promise to myself.

If I leave her , it is so that she can have a better life , and so that she may not die a shameful death as I surely will.






User Comments: [1]
RagDoll_of_WratH
Community Member





Tue Jan 15, 2008 @ 01:04am


Oh god...*then continues to cry much more*
{These tears that I am crying right now, symbolize my pure
jealously over how blessed this girl is.....for I DON'T have the
love and attention that I would like to have....}


This signature that you're used to seeing...
is now on a different account =3
User Comments: [1]
 
 
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