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Wtf mate?
Lewis and Clark Expedition

heart By: April Bacarro heart

Characters

Lewis: Josh Mora
Clark: Christina Torres
Sacagawea: April Bacarro
York: Veronica Gacula

Scene: Lewis and Clark stand in Jefferson’s office.
Jefferson: I have a job for you two. I need you two to explore the land I have bought from the French.
Lewis & Clark: Yes, sir.

Scene: In October, Lewis and Clark reached the Manadan Indian villages (in what is now North Dakota).
Clark: So… Lewis.
Lewis: What do you want?
York: I’m hungry.
Lewis: Shut up. You’re just supposed to do what I say. I make the rules here.
Clark: No you don’t! I do!! Oh look- a new animanal!
Lewis: (stares at Clark) Don’t you mean animal?
Clark: That’s what I said! (Says slowly) Animanal.
(Lewis stares at Clark, and then shakes his head.)
Lewis: (pauses for a moment, thinking deeply) I shall name it a ‘white-tailed rabbit’.
Clark: What? That sounds stupid. Let’s call it a ‘bunny’.
Lewis: No way! That sounds…..girly.
York: I happen to like it.
Lewis: No one asked your opinion!
Clark: You can’t say that to him! He’s my slave not yours!
(York sighs, and they walk mindlessly for a few minutes.)
Clark: (puts his hands on his stomach) Lewis, I’m getting tired.
Lewis: Does it look like I care?
Clark: (stops walking) Hey, wait. Do you hear something?
Lewis: (still walking) What?
Clark: Shhh!!! I’m trying to…. Ooh!! I hear water!!
Lewis: (walks up to Clark) What? Water?! I don’t hear anything…
York: It’s a river.
Lewis & Clark: SHUT UP!!
(A moment of awkward silence in which Lewis is thinking deeply.)

Lewis: I think it’s a river.
Clark: Really? I think so too.
York: That’s what I just-
Lewis: Shut up.
Clark: Let’s go swimming!
Lewis: Are you crazy? We’ll use a canoe.
Clark: Where are we going to get a canoe?
Sacagawea: (walking towards them) I have one.
Lewis: Where did you come from?
Sacagawea: I live here.
Lewis: Oh… Okay.
Clark: Who are you?
Sacagawea: Sacagawea.
Lewis: (kindly) Bless you.
Sacagawea: No. That’s my name.
Clark: (confused) What’s your name?
Sacagawea: Sacagawea.
Lewis: (patiently) Bless you.
Sacagawea:(rolls her eyes) Never mind.
Clark: So…. This is where you live?
Sacagawea: Yes.
Lewis: Seriously?
Sacagawea: Obviously.
Lewis: Oh… Okay.
Clark: Wait…. If you live here, then that means you’re familiar with the land, right?
Sacagawea: That’s right.
York: She should come with us!
Lewis & Clark: SHUT UP!
(A moment of awkward silence in which Clark is humming.)

Lewis: You should come with us!
Clark: That’s a brilliant idea!
York: But I just said-
Lewis: (Overpowering York’s voice) I know, I know. I’m brilliant.
Sacagawea: Is this what all white men act like?
(Lewis says ‘no’, and at the same time, Clark says ‘yes’.)

Lewis: So will you come with us?
Sacagawea: (ponders for a moment) Erm… you’ll have to ask my father, the chief, first. If you would follow me please…





 
 
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