Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I hate the way I walk to school in the cold
I hate the way when I dont walk to school I have to wait in the cold for a lift
I hate the way I get home and chuck down my bags
I hate the way the teachers always give us homework for the weekend
I hate the way people start a convosation and then leave it.
I hate the way people ignore me when they mean alot to me.
I hate the way people don't understand how I feel
And I hate the way people take the piss because of it

I hate the distance.
I hate the way its always so cold
And I'm always so alone.
I hate the way convosations go awkward after 'how are you'
I hate myself for not knowing what to say next.
I hate myself for being so silly
I hate myself for letting myself get attached.
I hate myself for being human.

I hate the way people say 'I love you' and not mean it.
And I hate the way they add 'but' onto it.

I hate having to wrap my arms around myself to keep myself warm because noone else will.
I hate having to pretend that things are going to get better
I hate trying to be optimistic.
I hate the fact that I will probably die young
I hate the fact that I can't change the world on my own

I hate the way that the sun goes down when you're alone
I hate the way it feels someone should be there
And I hate the fact that they're on the other side of the world.
I hate the sound of the sea
I hate the beach
I hate the fact I'm only saying this because I've got noone to go with.

I hate it when people say 'Its not you its me'
I hate it when I scream at night because I dreamed someone slit your throat
I hate the way I get sad when I know your sad
I hate the way I smile when I know your smiling.
I hate the way I go on about things

I hate the long lists I can write.
I hate the way I can write long lists of things I hate. And then finish it off with..

But I dont hate you.
I hate that your so far
I hate that I'm so alone.
But I dont hate you..

I hate this journal entry...
But I'm still going to post it..