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I want to just run right now. I want to leave all of this behind so badly. My life sucks. my family is so mean and nasty to eachother. I have no body to back me up ever. I want to just go so badly. but i can't. I can't leave because of payton, she is too young...and she's my sister. She doesn't deserve any of this either. Once she is old enough, i want her to get away too, for she will only go through hell. I am so depressed and i just want to leave all of this behind. even writing this is making me more and more sad, with every word. point is i can't take much more of this. if things get worse, i am not sure what i will do. If i do get away from all of this, i need you all to know that it is not because i am a bad person, but because my family is so messed up. and cami, (older sister) i remember what you did that one night at the Arminta house, so I'm sure you can understand my feelings now...