# Vital Information was a sketch in which Lori Beth Denberg (later Danny Tamberelli and Lil' JJ during the relaunch, respectively) delivered words of wisdom, usually three sayings in a row. Some of these Vitals included:
* If your bra is too tight, it's uncomfortable. If you're a boy and your bra is too tight, I'm uncomfortable!
* " It is wrong to push your neighbor Billy off the roof and say, "Hey, look neighbors! It's raining Billy!"
* If your teacher gives you an F, it is wrong to say "Well what do you expect moron! I didn't study!"
* Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder how on Earth this song became so popular.
* It's fun to play in the snow. It's less fun to play in a bathtub full of vomit.
* I scream, you scream, we all scream when we slam our hand in the car door
* Three blind mice. Three blind mice. See how they run, into things.
* An apple a day keeps the doctor away (then proceeding to throw apples at a doctor) go on get!
* The kids on the bus go up and down, up and down, up and down. The kids on the bus go up and down, and then they all throw up.
* Monkey see, monkey do. Monkey don't see, monkey step in doo.
* If your first name is Wally, and your second name is Wally, and your last name is Woo, then your name is WALLY WALLY WOO!
* When you fall in the toilet, it is best not to start swimming saying, "Look at me! I'm a toilet fish!"
* When you blow your nose like this (takes a tissue and blows her nose loudly), it is wrong to do this (sticks the tissue to a lamp).
