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At the end of his life, Kai wrote a message for all to read that cared to read it:

Its in this wake that I find myself,
losing the will to resume this hell.
When every breath is a dying wish,
its harder to follow the point of this.
This broken place that I call my home,
has deepened the sorrow that have sown.
And I can't erase what is in my heart,
I want it to finish before it starts.
So now I've come to a final sleep,
I pray that forgiveness is mine to keep.
I know it is hard to forget this man,
driving a failure into your hands.

The meaning of this escaped all but Atrum unum, who refused to explain.

(Page two)
And if you see me losing ground, don't be afraid to lie.
I know the pain inside my heart, can't break the pain inside of yours.
And if you see me losing faith,
in what it means to die.
Don't let me leave before I know, what lies beyond those stained glass doors.

Save sorrow for the souls in doubt.
Bleed every care out.

It was this that escaped comprehension.