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So, I was 'bumping' (and not, unfortunately, in a naughty way) on this board and apparently someone on there decided not only to private message me but also to friend me. Which I declined. I don't do the friend thing. The people around me are in my universe. I control my universe. Leaves no room for friends.

I had the most amusing conversation to follow. I just had to share. I couldn't resist. Hope you enjoy my wit. It can be sharp sometimes.

Raven_bites Wrote:
"I have found another of my knid at last. My name is Raven."


Me:
*looks at sidelong* "I have a lover and a toy. I don't do the whole 'coven' thing and I don't do friends. I rule the universe around me. If you're in it, I rule you. *pauses* I don't screw girls. Go away. I have better things to do."

Raven_bites Wrote:
"you could have just dais no but you were an a** hole."


Me:
"I could have just dais? I'll define dais for you, shall I? A dais is a raised platform. So apparently I could have just a raised platform. But no, instead I was an a*****e. Well, seeing as being a raised platform isn't something I'm capable of and I can only be who I am I guess I'll say no. I couldn't have just dais. I had to be an a*****e.

It does make me wonder what you were trying to say. Maybe you thought dais meant something else? I'm usually not bad at mentally editing people's crappy grammar/spelling/capitalization and English in general but you've abused the poor language so horribly I simply can't make heads or tails of it.

I don't care if you decide not to respond. This conversation has been fun. I just wanted you to know."

Raven_bites Wrote:
"it was ment to be the word said. icon_stare.gif just because other beings arnt as perfect as you think you are, that does not mean to mock us."


Me:
"Ah, now see, that makes a lot more sense. I could have just said, indeed, which is a lot easier than being a raised platform but much less fun than ticking you off.

You believe I only think I'm perfect? How wrong you are. Chaos is perfection. I can be everything and nothing. From Chaos comes everything and everything returneth to Chaos.

Just because other beings aren't perfect doesn't give them any right not to be mocked. Oh, I've heard all the sob stories. "Humans are flawed." "No one is perfect." Weak, selfish phrases, those. Not things I acknowledge. I'm not going to take pity on you because you're too lazy to strive for perfection. Maybe mocking doesn't encourage everyone to shape up.... But I do enjoy it."

Raven_bites Wrote:
"I dont care what you think. You go living on your life. icon_stare.gif"


Me:
"Except that you do care. Or you wouldn't have continued talking to me so long. You just say that you don't care because you think maybe I'll get less pleasure from tormenting you that way if I think that you don't care about what I think. Well. it didn't help. I care not whether you care or not. I'm enjoying myself.

I go living on my life, huh? Shall I assume you meant that I should go on living my life? Too late, sweetie, I'm already dead. I'm surprised you forgot. But then, should I be? You only pretend to be a Vampire after all. I am."

Raven_bites Wrote:
"You make me laugh you know that? With you supose words of torture? God damn, you think me that pathetic."


Me:
"I don't think you're laughing. I'd be surprised if you weren't crying. I have that affect on people I don't like. *smiles* I'd say it's one of my best traits.

My supposed (I assume you mean that and not simply suppose as that wouldn't fit in the sentence grammatically) words of torture? I do try. I do try. Maybe torture is too strong a word. Perhaps torment is better? That's a good word, too.

You would damn me? *laughs* Too late for that one, as well. Of course I think you're pathetic. You sound so surprised. Aren't you aware of your own state of being? An imperfect creature that pretends to be a Vampire to make herself feel a little more powerful, a little more unique. Truly a being worthy of pity, were I ever to feel such an emotion. So, yes, I do think you are pathetic, my dear, because you are."

Raven_bites Wrote:
"whatever."


Me:
"You keep coming back for more abuse. It's.... amusing, really. I'm not sure what to think. Maybe you're a masochist? My toy is. In him, it's an endearing quality. He likes it when I hurt him good. Bet you'd like it, too. So sad that you have the wrong sort of plumbing.

If you really didn't care what I thought you'd stop responding to me. But I don't mind. I could do this all night. It's one of my favorite pass times. Just keep talking, baby. I'll call you whatever names you want."