Heh, yeah, my life sucks right now.. >>;
Neway, some jokes... owo; Enjoy.
Oh, and let me know which one made you laugh. D<
I'll add more Jokes in a few days. -Nod nod.-
~~~~~~~ DAVE BARRY:: ~~~~~~~
"When I purchase a food item at the supermarket, I can be confident that the label will state how much riboflavin is in it. The United States government requires this, and for a good reason, which is: I have no idea. I don't even know what riboflavin is. I do know I eat a lot of it. For example, I often start the day with a hearty Kellog's strawberry Pop-Tart, which has, according to the label, a riboflavin rating of 10%. I assume this means that 10 percent of that Pop-Tart is riboflavin. Maybe it's the red stuff in the middle. Anyway, I'm hoping riboflavin is a good thing; if it turns out that it's a bad thing, like 'riboflavin' is the Latin word for "cockroach pus," then I'm in trouble."
"I can win any arguement on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me."
"Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking."
"Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing."
"I took an estimated two thousand years of high school French, and when I finally got to France, I discovered that I didn't know one single phrase that was actually useful in real-life French situation."
"Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated that building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a dark room using only your teeth."
"Cigarettes sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said 'CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT'"
The Constitution of the United States of America, Article V, Section 1: "There shall be a National Anthem containing incomprehensible words and a high note that normal humans cannot hit."
"I now realise that the small hills you see on ski slopes and formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding."
~~~~~~~~ GEORGE CARLIN ~~~~~~~~
"Have you ever noticed, in traffic, anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac!"
"George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country."
"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof, where nobody can retrieve it."
"Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view."
"In America anyone can become president. That's the problem."
"Swimming is not a sport! Swimming is a way to keep from drowning! That's just common sense!"
"Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is getting ready to hang himself."
"A lot of these people who keep a gun at home for safety as the same people who refuse to wear a seat belt."
"The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it."
"I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there..."
"I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again..."
"People ask 'Can I ask you a question?' Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there, buddy?"
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Siria's... Journal. ;3
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-Her Majesty- S i r i a
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Mario_Maniac Community Member 
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Himiwari-Chan
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"Cigarettes sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said 'CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT'"
"Have you ever noticed, in traffic, anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac!"
Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view."
"Swimming is not a sport! Swimming is a way to keep from drowning! That's just common sense!"
"The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it."
"I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there..."
"People ask 'Can I ask you a question?' Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there, buddy?"
well those are the quotes i thought were funny xD