View User's Journal

PARENTS! Your children are in grave danger; so many teens out there in the world are trying to hurt your innocent children. Luckily the villains have created a way of classifying themselves: cliques, and have ultimately created their own demise! The Clique system is perfect! Where would teens be if they couldn't just simply point the finger and give that object a name? I mean, we practically based wikipedia off of being able to call whatever you want, whatever you want. They needed simple answers to every question that pops up in their mind, and we can benefit from this, and use it to protect our children. Here's how the Clique System works in a nutshell...
Every jock is a steroid popping retard; every cheerleader is an STD holding kart wheeler; every punk is a druggy with a skateboard; every goth is a deranged worshipper of Satan? Why? Well the same reason all cross dressers are gay; because those outside of the group say so. Majority rules and we must save our children from these foul beasts! All you need to do is be able to tell who's who when your child has a friend over. Remember though, this only works if stereotypes are enforced! Since when are the witnesses and experts to be taken seriously? Come on, they're clearly biased and are only defending their position. How selfish of them to make a good name for a clique only because they're in it. How many of them would talk positively about other cliques? Or at least the ones they don't have friends in? Must I make everything black and white clear to you?

Jocks are first on the list, they are among the hardest to spot, because they look so peaceful with their underwear showing, and their pearly white teeth are there only to fool you along with their sports and athletic achievements. Jocks are only strong because they need drug enhancements; they don't spend time in the weight room, they spend their time studying since they all have a 5.0 GPA, I mean, their image practically says "PERFECT!" and that's exactly how they are able to get to your child and avoid all detection. What's so harmless about someone who quietly and considerately sits in the library respecting his elders? He's popping pills and making your child an addict at nighttime! A typical jocks weaknesses range from anti-school-spirit arm bands (for your son) to underwear equipped with battery power chastity tazers (for your daughters).

Your average cheerleader usually dresses in skimpy clothing as a devilish form of seductiveness, and it's worked on school principals which is why their uniforms are so short! Cheerleaders are the least expected of all candidates to be harmful (they've even passed the school boards area of suspicion). They can spread disease to your innocent sons, who we all know would never take advantage of a girl unless she forced him to drink alcohol. These diseases are ones that are worse than the ones they encounter if they were to befall the fate of masturbation, they seem to be calling them STDs. Why are all cheerleaders able to hold every STD and still go around dating? That's a mystery to all of mankind, but womankind understands it perfectly (they share this secret with other girls in their locker room). This e.s.t.r.o.g.e.n. stuff is an acronym still being deciphered by scholars. So far they believe in two theories. One of which states that they've built an immunity in their years of whore experience. The other is that the "milk" they produce is some sort of cellular material similar to immunity cells, kind of like the white blood cell, but specifically for all STDs. But such power in the bosoms causes' mood swings since, unlike their male counterparts, they can't control strength.

Your average punk is much like a Picasso painting with legs; compiled with random shapes and colors that make you say "what the gosh darn heck?" They are in possession of drugs far worse than the jocks, but at least their violence is frowned upon by other teens, making them easier to identify than jocks are, and skateboards a HUGE giveaway. Every punk IS a drugged up skateboarder? Why? Well, think about all that pain they must endure! They need some kind of sedative right? I don't know about you non skaters reader this but I bet they'll only deny it because they're afraid of the truth, hence all the "anti-government" music and preaching.

Goths are usually dressed like creepy puppets; white face mask, and oddly classical opera outfits with a dead twist on it. Why is every Goth a deranged Satan worshipper? Well what color of robes do satanic wear? Black perhaps? What color is a vampire skins? Pale white perhaps? We all know they're trying their hardest to be both of these I mean they won't shut up about death, both killing and dying. They probably feast on just about any animal that crosses their path. Did you just disagree with what I posted? You know what that means? That means you're in one of these cliques! Don't deny it; since you're in the clique you are now capable of doing nothing but accepting the labels we outside of your clique give you, hopefully you're a good patron who isn't finding this serious business funny, otherwise you'd be a bad parent for this "understanding" stuff.

Your average cross-dresser is a man who dresses like a woman, but since girls don't keep spare tampons in the front side of their underwear; men have a hard time hiding behind female clothes. Why is every cross dresser gay? Oh come on, that's EASY! There's a bit of history to it actually. Religious nuns were tired of having their Prada purses stolen all the time by thieves, so they altered the make-up with super holy water. However, most of the thieves were actors who acted out women roles, and were being treated as women behind stages and by getting no worker's benefits from Shakespeare. This make up was the first of modern day make-up. What it would do was that, the skin would absorb the make-up and infect the person into liking their gender. Naturally this had no effect on women since they have virus fighting breasts, but it would turn men into these horrible beings, they were called "gays" which is an acronym, G since they were infected by the G-virus, A.Y.S. - All yours Satan. But little did we know this virus wouldn't be known about until the 21st century when it was tolerated in AMERICA, I'm starting to think USA stands for United Satanics of America. Yes, the G-virus is just as lethal as its video game, fictitious counterpart in the "Resident Evil" games, rest assure it's just as contagious! They're starting to disguise themselves as gothics but WE CAN SEE YOU ALL. The teens have them blacklisted as "Emos" which stands for "Educated Marionette of Satan" and since they wear make they are all gay! You don't even want to know how they spread the virus to innocent victims.

Keep your guns loaded and fingers pointed people because those cliques are out to get your children in a selfish attempt to redeem their name! Don't listen to their reasoning for their wrong-doings, or any attempt to make these statements false, they're all lying and trying to take advantage of our children.

Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

More Information