Ever feel when a love one had died..Depressed...Angered... Hatred....? And when you cant seem to cry? That means your holding it in... I cant cry... My grand mother died...August 2nd... 2005...Providence Rhode Island.... I couldnt cry.. I wanted so bad... i just wanted to break down and cry.. But i couldnt... I guess when it comes to emotions... I cant step up to cry...I know i am deeply sad.. And i know out of all the grandchild.. I took it the hardest.. I took it that hardest because i cant reamber my baby or 4-birth years with my own grandmother... Because when I was 4... I lost my memory of that.. I had sevre head injuries.. I needed Staples... I am usually a great memorizer... But.. at 4.. i lost my memory of that.. then at 9 i had another head accident.. watch let me reamber my Rock accident only till then....And on teh 2nd when i went to sleep.. I saw nothing but darkness.... See when a loved one dies.. You dream of your past... I know every one did.. But me... I couldnt reamber one detail.. Not one in my dream... All i could reamber is the things she said...'Get out the kitchen! What ya doing in there!? Wash out a cup!' or when you touched things in her room..."Leave that alone! Put it back when your done looking!" and when she cooks..." Want any? You sure you'll like it?" I just... wanted her to live a longer life.. she was around 90.. I believe. She looked as if she was in her 70's... Her kids...siblings.. My mother,aunt...uncles.. Great aunt/uncles... I...Just want them to be happy... after this.. even my grandfather who is the most depressed out of all our family...Thanks for hearing my story...- Curtis Lee Monroe...My True Nargansett Indian Name.
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Diana