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My Very Own Journal
It's me..CNPE...
Constructive criticism welcome as long as you have true reasons for it.
Don't just tell me I suck and not have a good reason for saying so.

Okay, I wrote this in the tenth grade for Creative Writing class. It explains some of the things that always bothered me about Rapunzel, and it has another fairytale thrown in there too:

Joe
Have you ever read the story of that creature named Rumplestiltskin? Well, I bet you've never heard of me! I'm his brother, but I didn't get gifted with a fancy name like his. No, I have a plain, old every-day name. My name is Joe.
I didn't run around taking babies like him, either. I had another sort of job.
See, I worked for a living. I worked for this old witch in her garden. She almost never gave a guy a break, either. By day, I pulled weeds, picked vegetables, hoed rows, and all kinds of other sweaty work. By night, I stood guard.
I remember one night in particular, I fell asleep. I was shocked into wakefulness by the old hag beating me with her broom. She said that a thief had made off with her best radishes.
The next night, I didn't dare fall asleep. I watched that garden like a fierce hawk. Suddenly, someone fell over the fence. As quickly as I could, I ran to alert the witch.
Straight away, she ran outside to see what was happening. I listened to what was said.
"I'm quite sorry," I heard the thief whisper. "My wife is sick, you see. She will only eat the finest radishes."
The old hag smiled sweetly at him. "You may have all the radishes your heart desires."
Wait a minute! I thought. Yesterday she was ready to slit my throat for letting him get away with those radishes! I was furious until I heard what she said next.
"Only one condition applies," she said smoothly. "If at any time your wife should have a child, you must let me have that child as my own."
What is it with old uglies and children? My brother made that same sort of deal with some poor peasant girl. Why would anyone want one of those slobbering, pooping, squawk boxes?
I thought it was very clever of him to agree to her conditions. He was able to cure his wife, and now he wouldn't have to worry about taking care of a disgusting baby later.
Well, one day, as I was working, sure enough I heard the sound of a crying child coming from next door. I rremembered what happened that night in the garden and informed the withc right away.
I tell you, I've never seen such a fuss in all myu life! The witch hurried next door, and demanded her baby. Of course, the wife was willing to fight about it, bu tthe witch was magic. She just froze her and the husband where they stood. Then she carried her new baby right out the door.
When the witch came inside she announced we were going into the forest. She told me that we had to hide the baby because if the neighbors saw it they would rememeber what happened, and then there would be another confrontation.
So, I followed her as we trudged deep into the woods. My legs are real short, you know. By the time we had made it to our destination, I had almost no strength left.
The witch had taken us to this high tower. And wouldn't you know it, the thing had no door at the bottom. It had no stairs, either, and guess who had to hold the ladder?
You can imagine how awkward it waas, trying to hold that thing up while someone carrying a baby in one arm tried to climb it. But then, on top of that, the animals of the forest kept on gawking at us, making me all nervous. I almost dropped that ladder about eight times!
Every day after that, I had to carry that ladder. hen I had to guard the tower for hours until she decided she was ready to come down. In return the witch gave me food and a place to live.
Then one day she told me I didn't have to carry the ladder anymore. She kicked me out and said I was now useless to her.
I wandered arouond alone in the forest for weeks. I got lost, and I ecame cold and hungry.
Then one morning I stumbled upon this great big castle. I staggered toward it as quickly as I could.
The people inside the castle were very kind. Teh prince, Prince Charming, told me he was sad and alone.
Naturally, I thought of the girl in the tower. I told him all I could about her, which wasn't much, considering I'd never actually seen since she was a baby. I knewe she had a lovely singing voice and that the animals of the forest adored her.
So that night we set out together to find her. We rode all night, and I fell asleep. Prince Charming must've fallen asleep too, because when I woke up, we were surrounded by seven little men, and they all had beards. They all wore funny hats, had huge noses, and wore little black boots.
They all looked worried.
"Who are you?" the prince asked them.
"We're the seven dwarfs," came the response. "We need help."
"Help? How do we help you?" Prince Charming wondered.
"Follow us!" they commanded.
I don't know if it was wise to follow seven little men into a forest, but since I worked for a witch, and mybrother is a bit creepy, I didn't figure things could get that bad.
The men leasd us to a clearing. There was a little house, which was just the right size for them, or even me, for that matter.
Also in the clearaing was a big glass coffin. As we approached the coffin I realized that inside was the most beautiful thing I had eve seen. It was a girl. She had pale, pale skin, and she had hair as dark as teh night sky. she was surrounded by forest creatures. What is it with beautful maidens and forest creatures? I honestly don't get it.
Anyway, Prince Charming looked thunderstruck. He headed straight for that coffin. Gently, he lifted the lid. Then he knelt close to her face, and softly he kissed her deep red lips.
GROSS! We're talking about a dead body here! Who goes around kissing dead bodies?
But then her eyes flickered open. She was alive? I guess I missed something, because then the prince took the girl with him on his steed and rode off into the sunset. The whole time the little men were cheering and waving.
To this day I have no idea what happened, but the dwarves invited me to live with them and help them work in their mines.
I agreed, but I told them NEVER to call me a dwarf. I also rrefuse to whistle while I work. I never could do two things at once.
As for the girl in the tower, I don't know what became of her. As far as I know, she's still up there. But, who knows? Maybe some prince came along and carried her off, too.






User Comments: [1] [add]
HylianLegacy
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Tue Apr 15, 2008 @ 03:19pm
Haha very good... and funny... I like the way you put different stories into one... I applaud your work


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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