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Don't Piss off the Princes Ch. 2

Kouji's Crush, and other random things

After a musical number, Ryo almost dying, and Gilderoy Lockhart, (see Ch.1) everybody went on eating. Of course, this was hard because of the co-author lying on the table, facedown. (Ch.1 again) "Is Prince Tucker going to be ok?" Said Prince T.K., who had just recovered. "He'll be ok. You just have to have a rib placed in front of him." said Prince Ash. (This is actually true.) Prince Kouji placed a rib in front of Prince Tucker, unfortunately, he wasn’t quick enough. Prince Tucker leaped up and bit off Prince Kouji’s Hand! “EAAAAAARRRRGH!” Screamed Prince Kouji. “We can rebuild him. Stronger. Faster. Deadlier. We have the technology.” said Prince Matt. “JUST DO IT ALREADY!” roared Prince Kouji.

(These are flashes of what Kouji heard during the operation.) “He’s losing too much blood!” “Get that doctor in there!” “I think I dropped my cell phone in him!” “What’s Phantomon doing here?” “Get me some beer here!” “ I want him on the Nemesis Project!” “Get out of here!”

In the hospital room...

“Ugh. Where am I?” Said Prince Kouji. “They tried everything. Lasers, pistols, women’s underwear, axes, everything. But they ran out of ideas. They did the hardest thing. See for yourself.” Said Prince Ash, handing him a mirror. “AHHHH!” screamed Prince Kouji. “I’m Darth Vader!” “Oh, yeah. The hallucinogens should wear off soon.” Said Prince Tucker, who had spoken for the first time. “Here’s your old hand.” A pile of crap landed on Prince Kouji’s lap. “But this is a pile of crap.” “I know. I found my digestive system couldn't regurgitate food.” “You mean... EWWW! By the way, what is up with my arm? It feels tickly.” “See for yourself.” Said Prince Davis who looked jealously at Prince Kouji’s arm. “It’s Auto-mail!” said Prince Kouji. “That actually attracts girls.” Remarked Prince Matt. “Oh well.” Said Prince Kouji. “Let’s see what’s on TV.”

"Sitcoms, reality TV shows, sports, ads, this weird anime called Digital Demons,"

"That's actually good I've heard." piped up Prince Tai. "Shut up, its the news." said Prince T.K.

"No news on the wave of bakeries being robbed by a white imp. Last time this thief was caught on tape, he gave the finger. He goes by many names, such as the Bakery Bandit, Pastry Pirate, Danish Devourer, etc. Here's his photo." And then a picture was held up, and everyone stared. A purple tufted, 1 foot tall Digimon was there, wearing a ski mask. "Prince Tucker..." whispered Prince Ash. "Take care of our thief." Prince Tucker ran out, with a glazed doughnut in his hand. "We won't see him for a chapter or two." (No one understood what he said.)

Back at the castle...

"I hope prince Kouji is okay..." said Princess Zoe. "Ah, who gives a crap?" Grunted Princess Rika. "I do, I sent the piece of crap that Prince Tucker gave him." Said Princess Mimi. Everyone stared. "So much for being a lady." said Princess Kari. "They're back!" called Angewomon. A musical song reached their ears, if not disturbingly.

(Parody of the sailor song by Toybox)

So if we all come together, we know what to do
we all come together, just to sing we love you
and if we all come together, we know what to do
We all come together just for you!

Racing all around the seven islands
Chasing all the girls and singing awkward songs
'Causing peace everywhere we go
Party-hardy in the Digital World

Squealing, squealing, jumping from the ceiling
Drinking, drinking 'till we can’t be thinking
Wheeling, dealing, lots of sex-appealing
Come, let us sing the Digi-song!

So if we all come together, we know what to do
we all come together, just to sing we love you
and if we all come together, we know what to do
We all come together just for food!


Everyone was walking along the path, carrying Prince Kouji on their shoulders, and swishing root beer in their complimentary hospital mugs. “Well,” said Princess Yolei, “They seem to have accepted the fact that they must get married.” “Better not count on it.” said Princess Rika.

Later, in the hall...

“Ok guys, we can dump him here.” said Prince Davis. And they all dropped him on the ground. He started bleeding profusely, and at that time, the princesses came in. “Attention perverted wastoids!” shouted Angewomon. At this, Prince Ash sighed, took out his laptop, and did some revisions. “Attention fine Princes!” said Angewomon. “That’s better.” said Prince Ash. “Anyway,” said Angewomon, you must all start going on dates. I have put each prince’s name in this hat. Each princess will take out a name, and then they’ll go on a date with that prince. Comprende?” Everyone nodded. “Ok, lets get this over with.” groaned Princess Rika. Every princess reached into the hat. Each princess pulled a name out of the hat, and these were the names: Davis, Kouji, Matt, Ken, Ryo, Michael. “And, Princess Zoe, who did you get?” She looked up shyly, and said, “Prince Kouji.”

Later, in the park, much later...

(Skipping most of date)

“Wow, so that’s what happened.” said Princess Zoe. “Yeah, Prince Tucker has a really strong bite.” And then they hugged. Then a beeping sound was heard. Princess Zoe’s eyes grew wide. She looked at her watch. And kicked Prince Kouji towards the mountains. “Wow, what was that?” said Princess Kari, who just happened to be walking by, with Gatomon. “Its my virgin alarm, its set bto go off before he does. 5 at Radiohut.” “I need one of them, Prince Davis has been staring at me.” said Princess Kari. “What did I tell you?” said Gatomon. “Angewomon said that, not you.” Said Princess Zoe.

High in the mountains...

“Ugh, where am I?” said Prince Kouji, rubbing his head.

(Get ready...)

oooooooh I am the Burgermon, ooh coming in from Burger land.

land.
I wish that you were my Burger.
Meaty things, I will never get enough.
If you show me to the burger tree,
will you give me a sodapop for free.

Come with me Griller,
I'm your sweet burger Burgermon.
This is the end - of the sweet juicy Burgermon.

“Good God.” moaned Prince Kouji, before passing out.

What will happen next? Who gets a date with who? Will Prince Kouji wake up and arrive in Ch.4? Will prince Davis and Prince T.K. have a huge lightsaber fight for Princess Kari‘s love? If you tell me to, I will!