So I've stumbled along into this incredible bad mood. And I mean incredible. It's not directed or caused by anyone....kinda. Well, not anyone I'm close to. And if it was you, you would know. I would have ripped your heart out and tossed it on the dirt covored floor of my school and stompped on it until the lunch ladies would scrape it up, thinking it was something they need for lunch, fry it or grill if you prefer, toss it on a bun and feed it to some fatty fat fat s**t at school who won't think twice before eating the greasy pounds of food in front of them. And they'd be happy. They would be soo happy. They'd sit back in their chair and say, "Wow. That was really good." And I'd stand there and laugh at your pathetic form as your writhe on the ground in pain because your heart was eating. Yes... Yes then... THEN you would feel maybe a fourth of my pain.
Alas, there is no one to do this to. Nothing has brought on my pain. I just feel it. Lets stick up a senario right now as an example.
I love him. I love him so much. He proposed to me and I love him. I want to marry him. I want to have a family with him. I'd die without him.
My girls are taking me to a last -free girl- outing. So we got to this great bar, right? We had a few drinks and laughed and- Oh look! It's my fiance! Hey honn-.....he's getting on one knee... and that's not my finger he's putting a ring on. Who is she? That's not me. That's my fiance.... that's not me.
That is how I feel. Why? No idea. But that's how I feel.
I was supposed to stay after school to work on my sewing project for my class so I don't fail when reportcards are sent out. But, I almost starting crying in there so I left. I stopped and talked to my best buddy right before I left and for a moment, I was ok. But she had to do some school thing so I walked home alone. While walking home, I was completely sickened by the sound of any romantic or happy music on my mp3 player, so I listened to songs about heartbreak and alot of songs about "******** you b***h!". Half way home, I started bawling my eyes out until I got to my drive way. Step-dad wasn't home so I didn't have to worry about a cover up story. So now here I sit, trying to figgure out what the ******** is wrong with me and practicing my stupid little smiles so I can get through tomorrow.
Oh What a wonderful world.
On top of this, at lunch, there was hardley enough cheese left to cover my nachoes and it tasted like s**t in the end anyways. "MegaMan" actualy ate lunch with us today. I felt a little better then...
Alas, there is no one to do this to. Nothing has brought on my pain. I just feel it. Lets stick up a senario right now as an example.
I love him. I love him so much. He proposed to me and I love him. I want to marry him. I want to have a family with him. I'd die without him.
My girls are taking me to a last -free girl- outing. So we got to this great bar, right? We had a few drinks and laughed and- Oh look! It's my fiance! Hey honn-.....he's getting on one knee... and that's not my finger he's putting a ring on. Who is she? That's not me. That's my fiance.... that's not me.
That is how I feel. Why? No idea. But that's how I feel.
I was supposed to stay after school to work on my sewing project for my class so I don't fail when reportcards are sent out. But, I almost starting crying in there so I left. I stopped and talked to my best buddy right before I left and for a moment, I was ok. But she had to do some school thing so I walked home alone. While walking home, I was completely sickened by the sound of any romantic or happy music on my mp3 player, so I listened to songs about heartbreak and alot of songs about "******** you b***h!". Half way home, I started bawling my eyes out until I got to my drive way. Step-dad wasn't home so I didn't have to worry about a cover up story. So now here I sit, trying to figgure out what the ******** is wrong with me and practicing my stupid little smiles so I can get through tomorrow.
Oh What a wonderful world.
On top of this, at lunch, there was hardley enough cheese left to cover my nachoes and it tasted like s**t in the end anyways. "MegaMan" actualy ate lunch with us today. I felt a little better then...
Community Member
When things look so good, and the fall apart around you, I don't know that it can be helped. It's not your fault, and it's his choice. It hurts like the dickens, but just be patient. If, in the course of the next couple of months, they don't break up, I suppose you could go and tell him. Get it out, y'know? You put your whole heart into it, why keep it bottled up inside? It'll flatter him, and help the leaky bottle with the overflow..
*hug* Stay strong, you. You've got the will, you've got the strength. Just put your mind to it, ne?
Maybe you should come over sometime and chill, y'know? We have movies and Robin Williams tucked away somewhere. smile