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THIS IS HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO WRITE A LOVE NOTE.
OH, ALBERT MY ALBERT.

EVER SINCE I FIRST LAID EYES ON YOU BABE, I COULD TELL YOU WERE THE ONLY TRANSVESTITE I COULD EVER LOVE. I REMEMBER SHARING A BIG SLOPPY HUG WITH OUT ON YOUR BIRTHDAY [AKA V-DAY.] I REMEMBER HOW NO MORE THEN 30 SECONDS BEFORE WE HUGGED WE WERE DOUSED IN PURPLE JELL-O AND RAISIN BRAN.

I REMEMBER HOW AFTER THAT YOU REFUSED TO SPEAK WITH ME FOR ABOUT 264.56 SECONDS. AND HOW YOU PROMISED ME YOUR FIRST 4 CHILDREN, BUT ONLY FOR PILLOWS AND A SUNDAE.

EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT THE DAY WE WENT TO STOCKHOLM TO TRY ON BIKINI BATHING SUITS I REMEMBER HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU, AND HOW TERRIBLY LOST I WOULD BE RIGHT NOW IF YOU HADN'T STUMBLED ACROSS ME WHEN I WAS RUNNING BLINDLY AROUND YOUR SCHOOL WITH A PAIR OF SCISSORS.

SOMEDAY YOU WILL KNOW JUST HOW MUCH I LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU, BUT IT WILL NOT BE ANYTIME SOON. EVEN IF I AM HAXXZORZING YOUR PROFILE AND LEAVING THIS HERE, KNOWING YOU, AND YOUR ABSOLUTELY SEXY LACK OF PERCEPTION YOU WILL TRULY FAIL TO NOTICE THIS HERE.

SOMEDAY WHEN WE ARE OLD WE WILL BREED A NEW RACE OF SUPER PURPLE PINEAPPLE EPIC PHAIL FLUFFY DUCKSxCORE, AND WRITE STORIES ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF WE LIVED TOGETHER.

WHEN WE ARE RICH AND FAMOUS WE WILL MAKE THE BEST SITCOMS THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN BY PUTTING THREE RANDOM GAY GUYS TOGETHER WITH ONE OF OUR SUPER PURPLE PINEAPPLE EPIC PHAIL FLUFFY DUCKSxCORE WHO HAS MASTERED SIGN LANGUAGE AND HAS AN ATTITUDE TOGETHER IN AN APARTMENT.

I LOVE HOW WE TALK FOR HOURS ON END IN CAPSLOCK AND CANT SEEM TO STOP AND I LOVE HOW WE ARE BFFLZ IN LAMExCORE, MAYBE SOMEDAY WE WILL BE MORE. BUT ALAS, THAT TIME IS NOT NAO.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU BBY, AND I'D SELL WHATS LEFT OF MY LIVER TO BE WITH YOU NOW.

MUCH LUFFS ON MY ONLY ONE.

SEBASTIANsexcore.

DEAR ALBBY <3

FROM THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOUR PIC IN YOUR SIG I WAS LIKE, "DAMN THAT GIRL IS SO CUTE." THEN I WENT TO YOUR PAGE AND SAW THAT YOUR a** WAS A GUY.

I WAS SO BETRAYED I WANTED TO MURDER YOU WITH HARDCORE SEX D<
THEN WE STARTED TALKING MORE AND I KNEW THAT YOU WERE GUNNA BE MY BBY UKE FOR LIFE THOUGH I LIKE....HAVE A VAJAYJAY AND ALL. THEN WE TALKED MORE AND SHARED THE CB. WE WERE SUPPOEED TO GET MARRIED BUT THAT BETCH OLA GOT IN MY WAY D< THAT ********.

THEN I GOT OVER IT BECAUSE I KNOW NO ONE SHARES THE BOND WE HAVE. NO ONE CAN HAVE A KITXALBBY BOND UNLESS THEY WERE US. AND GUESS WHAT BBY? THEY ARN'T AND THEY WON'T BE BECAUSE THEY ARE LAME. >D

THEN I CAME UP WITH YOUR AMAZING TITLE BECAUSE GUESS WHAT?!?

YOU'RE SWEDISH AND THAT MAKES YOU MAI

"SWEDISH MEAT BALL"

WHO THE KIT LOVE SO DEARLY.
I CAN'T WAIT TO MOVE TO THE MOON WITH YOU. WE CAN PISS IN CRATERS FULL OF LULZ!

SO I THANK YOU CB, AND ALBBY FOR MAKING ME THINK YOU WERE SOME REALLY HOT SWEDISH b***h.

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW.

<3333

KIT <3

Dear Albuurrt,

I see your bright orange head and a warmth fills my chest.
Your sweet smile makes me melt when I'm with you I feel better than I've never felt.
Your smart remarks and quick thinking have got me in a pub and drinking.
When I think you may never smile a speacial smile just for me my heart feels as though it's been struck with a sharp knife, torn apart
I'm lost in thought rather miserably.
I watch you smile I watch you walk, I watch you laugh and I watch you talk.
I'm obsessed it's really rather pathetic, my love for you really is not synthetic.

Love you secret admirer,
Thomas...Ra.

Dear Albert,
I wanna make chocolate pie with you.
You have a nice a**.
You make my butthole smile.
You should bend over.
Someday I will show you my kitchen.
You + me = hot gorey omgwtf sex.
If I saw you now I'd probably rape you.
I want to make sperm with you. ;D
I would build a statue of your p***s just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be 'Baby Got Back.
We could ******** under the stars.
Love,
Hillary.

(P.S. ... sorry, i ate your cat. ;___;.)