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Inner Thoughts(in other words, a dairy!)
I'm just going to write whatever I want in here, maybe someone will even read it(ya right...). I'm also writing a story that I'm working on but this is private, I don't want anyone getting rich off me if I become really good, and I don't what to pay
For a Friend to Read
I pasted this directly from a contest I put it for, so don't mind the intro.


Ok, here it is. (Sorry for being so late, but I edited out all the grammar errors as much as I could) Like I said in earlier posts, this is very "out there" kind of story, so try not to be weirded out too much if you can. sweatdrop Anyway! This is a sub-plot to my actual story, so it will be confusing, as I put you in the very middle of whats actually going on in the main part. I summarized bits and pieces to tell you some of whats going on in the main story, but not enough to reveal too much. The premise of this story is about a person that lives with very special powers, but so does his long-time friend (or past friend) that he hasn't met in a long time. I tell the story through the main character narrating himself from the distant future, so it's all in pasted tense.

Notes: Also, I purposefully do not give my characters names, and I also switch between "him" and "her" with one of my characters (he/she has no absolute body), so try not to get confused on those parts.

A Friend's Corpse
by Kralegna


At the beginning of my life I used to think I was normal. Well not that normal, considering I was a homeless orphan, saved from suicide by an even younger homeless orphan, than raised by him! That was when the real strange stuff started happening, but now that I think about it, it seems so long ago… It has been a long time, but I always thought in the back of my mind that I could never forget him. I still haven’t, but I’ve lost the closeness I once felt with him over the many years and lives I’ve lived. And yet, I’ve lived literally my whole life up until now for him and her. It’s like one super complex love triangle, but our love and conflict for each other is much more meaningful than the ones based on simple chemical reactions in the brain and nerves. Not to mention that the trails we face are much more complex than simple heartbreaks in the end. This is a goal that is to save the other in whatever way we can.

It’s nice to think of a joyful past long gone. The obstacles we endured together and the friends we gained were the most joyful years of my whole life up ‘til now, even if it didn’t seem like it in the course of it at many times. However, I knew I should have stopped thinking; I had more visceral problems to take care of in the current life I lived in, not to mention if I kept on thinking, I’d have started remembering all the equally painful parts at the end of my first life. To stop thinking I took one last look into the vast expanse of air. The setting sun and sky were so beautiful, too much so. Since it is too beautiful an event, you never want it to end, but you know it has to and will, no matter how much you pray that it won’t. I stepped down from the cliff ledge to go back down into the dark side of the forest before the light stopped hitting it. But I was too late, the last bits of light scattered into the air above the forest in an instant, as dusk turned to night. Then I saw it, a fiery torch that moved into the deeper part of the forest. Great…. another ghost…

I’m now a ghost hunter; the real kind; the ones that carry thousands of dollars of equipment to find out the mysteries of the paranormal and supernatural. Thermal readers, electric current readers, and at least a hundred hours of film to record were the very basic items to take. In a good sized team, mind you. If I went at it alone, I’d never be able to buy all the equipment, although I can attract ghosts just fine; in fact, that’s why they hired me, as I was the only one that could. Not to mention the fact that I could also identify between different spirits of all sorts. So after several long active years of the job, I became an expert at all of it. The environment, the physiological impact on the mind and body, and the ways to attract and ‘scare’ away a spiritual manifest of any type, were of them. So I was never naturally scared of the unknown anymore.

I’ve never seen a ghost that actually manifested as a torch though. Maybe someone died around here as a rape victim and the body was never found. Or maybe it was a traveler that came to this small rural town in the middle of nowhere and had gotten lost, then eventually died here. Or it could just be a hidden person holding a torch for all I knew at this distance. The thing was, I wasn’t in the mood to search, as I was just out here to rest my mind from the most recent mystery involving a very larger burial site of soldiers from a war over several hundred years ago, even before I was alive! And the revelation of how they died and what their souls wanted was too much to bear. In fact, I almost died from it; they clawed at my physical body like souls being sent to hell, with them trying to hold on to whatever they could to stop themselves from being pulled from the black hole they were being sent to. I guess I was the only one they could grab onto, but my body still suffered the many deep scratch marks they gave. I had finally cast the hidden demons off the grounds when finding the source after ten long exhausting hours, but the experience still laid deep impressions of fear in my heart. Now one more spirit to help… I just felt too exhausted…

I made a big huff of air in irritation and started following it; I was just too nice not to help. Any other sane person would turn back, what with all the moist mist that started to creep in all of a sudden, as if summoned. The forest was also very deep, and anyone could get lost even in daylight, so night time would be intentional suicide! My only guide was the flame I followed. It started to disappear behind all the trees, so I started moving faster, knowing that if I lost it, I’d be stuck here until at least the next day. I started jogging, and then running! I started going uphill so it took more energy than I thought, so I had to run full sprint just to keep up with the flame. “Was it afraid of me”, I wondered for a moment. I started to think this through, it was dangerous to move this fast in the dark, I might hit a… Bam!!! I bummed into a tree trunk head on at full speed, and huffed again as I recoiled and fell down, I was so annoyed!! I started to run again to catch up but just realized that a cliff was one step away! That tree just saved me!

Or rather, it was my powers again, one of them passively manipulates reality so that I never die; not even age has stopped me! And here it was once again, proving its existence to me. I’d have probably died like fifty times at the very least by now in all the situations I’ve ever been in. That’s why I was never afraid of the unknown in the first place, like ghosts, irrational events, and the dark. Even demons seemed to know how powerful I actually was, they ran like cowards when I faced them, even the mightiest trembled like weak puppies before me. The only thing I truly feared was the sorrowfulness of others. I was like a mother that protected and cared for any soul that was defenseless, unknowledgeable about the world, and innocent of anything. Although I liked to help anyone and everyone in need, even the people that wanted to hurt others, although I also wanted to protect the ones being hurt, so I was always a bit indecisive.

I looked down to see the torch-like manifestation stop at the bottom of the cliff, glowing now as a white-blue flame as it settled down; it gave me a feeling of gentleness, rather than anger as I looked on. “Well, at least it didn’t seem vengeful”, I said at first thought of seeing it. I looked for a path down the cliff and slowly came down after a full thirty minutes. I was, by then, full of bumps, bruises, and scratches from constantly hitting everything I couldn’t see; so by this time I was down-right mad, not at myself or anyone, but just the whole situation I was being put into all at once. Then I saw the torch disappear right when I was a meter from reaching it. I heard a rustle of leafs from the cliff side and repeated thuds. *Thump* *Thump* *Thump* It kept getting louder and louder. I couldn’t place where I heard that sound before as I pondered, then, it literally hit me on the head! A rock!

“Where am I?” I thought. It was complete darkness, not even the night stars were there to look at as a guide. The expanse of space had no objects to interact with, utter silence made the whole area seem infinite; maybe it really was. Then I heard some words that were so quiet that I couldn’t understand what was being spoken. I saw no one around. “A little girl’s voice?”, I thought while still searching. “Who’s there?” I asked, as the voice seemed to come at me from all directions at the same time. Mysteriously, both our voices echoed indefinitely. “I’m so sorry….” It whispered and echoed in a sorrowful tone, “I loved you so much… but I feared you so much at the same time. We were so happy before she came, so why did she have to come? I never meant for all this to happen. I just wanted to save you from what also happened to me. She’s not real, don’t let her fool you. Don’t waste your life the way I did, please….” It whispered throughout, “Nooooooooo……” The voice started to panic, growing louder with each word, “Please… Save me… God…? Is anyone there? I….I don’t want to die again. I don’t know who to trust! Please!! I don’t know what to believe anymore!!!” It screamed with all it’s might, “SAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I came to consciousness in the morning, with the sun beaming heat, as it was summertime. Rubbing my head was the first thought, and covering my eyes from the blinding sunlight was the second, and covering my nose from the overwhelming smell of ash was the third; but all came within a second. It took me the better part of the next few minutes (thanks in part to my head, eyes, and nose hurting) to grab my bearings on the situation. I had seen a vision of, or more accurately, had heard a voice of a little girl. I tried to think through what it all meant, but my head still throbbed from the major bump caused by the iron hard rock. Then I saw it, right in front of me; a rotten corpse. Almost all the flesh was already eaten off from the decay. The clothes were still there, intact but torn. There even was a watch still tied to a wrist, but rusted broken. I could tell at first glance that it was at least sixty years old. The composition of the skeleton frame suggested it was a female with the pelvis’s central space like that of an oval rather than a heart, and the arms were of thinner bone mass. I was used to analyzing corpses by this time, as much as I dreaded it. Considering all the fractures, she most likely died falling from the cliff that I got saved from. Not all the bones were there though, one fourth of them were missing along with the skull. Not to mention all the bones were scattered in the surrounding area. It was a mystery, why not all have all the bones here in one spot? I went back up the cliff to investigate for any clues, as it likely seemed to be the cause. This time I made a truly big sigh, it had taken at least an hour and a half going back up, but for reasons I can’t fully describe, I felt unusually compelled to know what her destiny was in the end.

I found the rest of the bones along with the skull at the place I had hit my head last night, but it had been too dark to see it all. The first thing that caught my attention was that the skull was cracked on the left side, but seemed partially healed. This suggested that she died slowly, with her body trying to desperately heal itself in the end. The next curious thing I noted in my mind was that the edge of the cliff seemed to be broken off, but not completely. I looked back down, careful not to slide or lose my footing. Even though I had never died, that didn’t mean I was immune to pain, quite the opposite in my experiences. I saw pieces of the cliff edge that fell with the rest of the corpse back below. This suggested that it broke off after she died, otherwise, how could the skull be here? This meant that she died before her body fell; how could she die at the top though? And how were there fractures in the bones in the first place then? It didn’t make any sense…

That was when I looked to the morning sun and the vast valley beyond. All my body hair instantly froze as I saw the valley. My mind stopped functioning for a moment, and my heart skipped a beat. I saw it all, lush with many plants of all kinds, but bordered with an old wooden fence. A forest, showed to be young by the lack of massive tall trees, was now grown full enough as the ash I smelt earlier gave itself as a rich nutrition for many years. “I remember this place!!” I screamed in my mind. It was a lifetime ago, when I met the scarecrow and the traveling girl….. That was her corpse!!! “Ohh, God!!!” I said in desperation, “Please. No………. Not her.” The person I was living for all my days on this world had been alone when she needed me most. When he needed me most!

Another power of mine that is passively active is to save anyone I wish from death within a certain radius and time of my body, from any threat in the universe. My powers are like that of a supreme being. I can manipulate reality so that events I don’t want to happen don’t actually happen. That includes my death too, that is why I have never died, even in suicide. The same thing goes for what I want, if I wanted the world as my authority to rule, then I could have that happen. I am too loving a person to ever live my life like that, though. A god… That is what I am to many religious groups, if they knew of me. But I couldn’t save the two people I lived for all my life. “Why…...” As I began cry, the thought echoed throughout my mind, “What force in this universe is stopping me from saving the people I love the most?

I had met him once again in a very fragile situation, several decades ago where I was needed in his life once again, even just as strangers. He was a traveling girl this time, searching the world for something she did not tell. I don’t think she even knew what she was searching for all those long years of that life. But I had comforted her none the less while taking her past the wheat fields. She seemed so sad at the time, so directionless, so alone. I remembered seeing her off once again, knowing that if I followed, I would eventually die, even with my absolute powers. I hugged her as tight as I could; I was full of sorrow and joy of unimaginable values all at the same time. For a reason unknown to anyone, the valley and the wheat fields went up in all-consuming flames a day after our meeting. I remembered trying to save a scarecrow that had a very special place in my heart at the time, so I was too busy to think if she was in the fire or not. She turned out to be fatally injured near the fire at another point in the valley, but not killed at that point. We ended up at the same hospital. I had many 3rd degree burns, but she was even worse. She didn’t suffer any burns at all, she instead had many broken bones and was now blind and had trouble breathing. She also had her short-term memory disabled, so I could not even talk to her, as she kept forgetting our conversations. I was at the same time, in a deep sorrow over the loss of the scarecrow that had become my friend. Because of this, I had foolishly let her go on dying without my support. She could never recover, she’d never be able to go out the hospital doors, let alone travel the world as she had. She’d die eventually in a month or two from mental inabilities to support the body in its commands of movement, and it's own senses; even the diaphragm would eventually stop receiving the signals all too vital to her breathing. But I was released from the hospital before I could see her again, and my end of that life had come as I exited the doors; I was transferred into a new body again… I never saw her fate.

My abilities of keeping people alive for a certain point must have kept her alive for several years in that impersonal chamber of a cell. She must have, through shear will power I could not comprehend, lead her here at this cliff for reasons I could only guess at. She laid her, at this rock, where she finally died. It must have been the most painful experience to get to this spot in her fatal condition. The lungs and muscles must have been cringing at the oxygen, and the bones still fragile, must have been in a flame of agony. Her mind would have been in a shroud of total confusion, searching for memories it could not find, trying to sense a world that it couldn’t. And her heart must have been in fear, not being able to know why it was desiring this destination. What did his soul want so much so, that it came to this place?

There were only two mysteries left for me to question. Why had the flame that represented her, been in a gentle and peaceful feeling? How and why had she been at peace right before her fate? Maybe it was because she had found what she was searching for all her life… That was a pleasant thought that flowed through my mind, and put me at ease, even as I cried continuously. The second question still persisted though, why was part of his soul still in this body? He would be resurrected after any death, just like how I was transferred into different bodies as my goals were accomplished. Although he would live again, each body he inhabits shows a side to his self that he has never shown to me, and maybe never will; a chance to know him at his weakest point where I could finally heal him was forever gone. Maybe he wanted me to know that this side of him was finally at peace, and that I didn’t need to worry of his death as her anymore; fore I have had many night terrors of that event still, even after all these decades of time to “heal”.

But my inability so save him still loomed over my heart and mind. I stopped crying as I faced the skull right before me. I fell silent for a moment and finally said, “Forgive me; I couldn’t save you again…” It was the first ghost I could not help put to peace by my own power and also my closest friend ever to have. So I left this place, never wanting to come again. I still had a long journey to fulfill if I was to ever make a difference in his life, even if it took thousands of years to accomplish my final goals. All of this is was just a remainder of what I was and still am really doing in my life.





 
 
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