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Here is a short story im working on hope you like it... PLEASE give any advice u can think of and PLEASE rate it on a scale from one to ten with ten being best.


~~~The Fatal Duel~~~

Two armies each sent their best Soldiers into battle to settle a war that had been going on for several decades. One of the leaders was Corran Ironscythe, a war veteran who enlisted just before the war began. The opposing forces were far more numerous and were led by a masked newcomer that quickly rose among the ranks.

They stood in a scorched plain, weapons at the ready, neither wanting to make the first move."" yelled the masked General to his forces as his troops began to charge.

For several hours the armies were doing short guerrilla strikes to discover a weakness in the opponent's formation. After several hours Corran noticed a hole in the foe's defenses that led to the command center. So he gathered up some of his elites and led a strike through the weak point.

As he and his troops went through the hole, he soon realized it was a trap as his soldiers were rapidly struck down by arrows. Soon there was only Corran left and the arrows stopped firing. "Ahh Corran, judging by your reputation, I never would have thought you would fall for such a simple ploy,"said the masked warrior as he stepped out from the mass of troops surrounding Corran"Your troops await your command and you can't very easily give it from in here. I could easily end this war right here but, that would be far too easy and i expected a challenge."

"What do you want from me? I'll do whatever you request just don't harm my troops."

"I don't believe you're in any position to bargain, but as you wish your troops shall be spared and but only if you win in a dual.If you lose, your troops will be murdered or taken as slaves"

"Very well, I accept your challenge, may the best man win."

"Let it begin then." said the warrior as his soldiers cleared a space and he unsheathed his sword.

Then they clashed, the blood spilling from open wounds and sparks flying as steel met hardened steel for hours on end. To Corran’s misfortune he was a mere flea compared to the surprising might of the enemy General. Corran fought valiantly but still made a fatal error. his opponent stuck his sword under the curve of the scythe and pulled his scythe from Corran’s grasp. Corran knew he was defeated but pulled out his daggers and tried to kill his foe. After a few more moments the masked warrior’s sword found its mark and stabbed through Corran’s chest, the blood smeared blade gleaming in the golden sun. Corran collapsed to his knees, no longer having the strength to support himself. "You put up a good fight, I commend you for it," Corran managed to gasp out, but then he suddenly whipped his hand up to remove his foes mask. “Ahh, I should have known.”

Corran’s brother, Alex, stood over him with a murderous gleam in his eye. ”Ha ha ha... This is all the great Corran had to offer? That was far too easy, its like you haven't even practiced since you enlisted. And now look, here you are moments from death while your soldiers are being routed as we speak.” he spit in Corran’s face “How pitiful.”

Alex became a faceless diety yet again as he and his troops went out to finish off the rest of the resistance, leaving Corran there to die. Corran clawed his way toward his camp but quickly ran out of energy. He noticed a dead archer and took his weapons. “It is too late to save you from yourself brother," he muttered,"I’m sorry.” Corran aimed the bow towards the main battlefield and shot Alex in the back of the head, Alex died on impact…




To be continued... also i will write about the origins of Corran and alex eventually


Note on the Names:
Corran was named after my Gaia char who was named after my guild wars char who was named after Corran Horn From Star Wars... also Corran is looks like Guild Wars Corran.

Alex was named after my former 2nd in command in my old guild on guild wars (i had a contest in that guild to see who would be in the story and he was the only one who showed any desire to XD).



Also go to http://www.freewebs.com/nintendoimports/ to visit my old guild's site (under come at own risk it has another version of the story)











read on for spoilers of what will eventually get written.













after awhile corrans army retreats and corran gets captured and tortured until he dies of his injuries. lol uve quite the spoiler there :p