most of them not only put me to tears but have weakened my spirit
please believe when I say this is not a suicide note or a cry for help
for me this could be nothing but open honesty
I have been suffering for a long time and this is something that will haunt me forever
It was a long and painful journey I still have no idea if I will reach the end
do not worry I will not remain in this state forever, no one is meant to
I have recently seen that i have to start over and anew
if I don't I will lose my mark on the world and will be forgotten
I have feared this and have decided to not run away but simply think about what I want
and who I am
Right now I am very depressed and lonely and I long for an age long gone
but longing does nothing but bring more tears and less hope
i hope one day I will break free and join everyone else in a place of ease and happiness
but for now I have to face a lot of hardships and broken peices
Who knows how long this will take maybe hours
days
weeks
months
or who knows maybe even years
I will return to my new/old self when I am more sure of what to do
right now I just feel like I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time
or maybe I just don't belong
right now I just need to cry and hope it will help me find who I am
-thank you
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