Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Kind of pattern for me. I seem to always get caught in these things that just keep happening over and over and over and no matter how hard I try to pop this damn bubble I can't get out.

I am suffocating in it!!

Then others already in the bubble get worse, blame me. Hurting friends, friends hurting because of me. Friends hurting not because of me then take it out on me.

Some I try to help I get bitched out.

Then when I try to just let them deal on there own, they b***h me out.




WHAT THE ********?!?!?! Then after all is said and done...no apology. No, none.


Then I'm the low life.


I AM SO SICK OF THIS!! I HAVE MADE MYSELF SICK!!!

It's bullshit.

I tell them the truth.

THEY BLAME ME!


I can feel my whole being tearing, ripping, wearing and all they see...is the mask they made on me to make THEMSELVES feel better.

I push all my care, worry, friendship to them and in return they take advantage and break me down, down, ******** down until I am SCREAMING IN MY HEAD AND CAN'T SCREAM ALOUD BECAUSE ITS ANNOYING TO THEM!!!!


They scratch at me.....and give me nothing.

I can't go missing, I won't be looked for.

Won't be found.

Won't be cared about.

Because they don't. They take take take take take take take take take take take take take take take take take take take take take take!!!

And I don't even get a little bit.


So I get to fall, fall fall..........