I try so so hard.. To pretend like everything is alright.
It's not. Nothings ever going to be right. I know this...
I have no hope really.. I just put on a mask .. All of what I am is a mask.. Seeming confidence, wittiness, etc. everything.
I hate how I've been abandoned. I hate how no one seems to care. I just want someone to care.. Someone... to really care.. You claim you do, but you don't.
I need you. I need you so bad. All of you.
I try to hold on.. but it's just so so hard.
I want to end this all soon..
I feel so empty and alone all the time. I'm constantly cast aside. I hate it so so much.. doesn't everyone?
I hate this feeling.
I have so many feelings. At the moment, this one is the strongest though.
I wish I was more poetic, and inspiring, like I used to be. More.....caring.. but how can I care when I don't feel cared about..?
How can I care when all I've been is tossed aside.. when all I've needed wasn't there... when everything I used to have is gone now...
I can't even cry anymore. That's how bad the pain is. I'm numb.. numb to the pain. I block it out...that's how often its there. Then something triggers it and I explode. I hate this... I hate this...
I just want to sleep. Long.. and hard. Sleep myself into an abyss where no one will find me. I'll be all alone and I won't get hurt. I won't know I'm alone either..I won't have to worry. I'll just be in slumber.
Princess Kitaaa · Tue Jun 24, 2008 @ 07:07am · 0 Comments |