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So by some shere stroke of luck my cousin Rhonda wished to fire one of her employees for being a completely useless d**k.


Guess who got his position? WHEEE ME.

of course it's more fast food. Subway, but it's fine. The people there are amazingly nice and playful. Very fun to work with. there is no hierarchy other than Rhonda being the manager, which is fine.

I spend saturdays and sundays there outside smoking because it's so completely dead and we only get like... 15 customers the whole day haha.

At least, for now, it's paying my bills. I have tomorrow off and two more graphic design companies to apply to who are looking for people. I'm not giving up in this respect.

I am, however, giving up on Nathalie. She's too young, too naieve of the world and doesn't know what she wants. she knows nothing of the real world yet.

Not that I'm some kind of savant when it comes to life, but I know a bit more than her and I know that she's not a match for me in the state that she is now. She'd just be a good lay.

That's the trouble with younger girls. They're flighty. Difficult to deal with. I need someone down to earth, someone I can depend and rely on just like she could do with me.

My perfect girl is gone. She grew up, matured, stopped being such a child and is engaged. I missed my chance with her but another will come along.

No, not Emily. She wasn't perfect for me. we were never perfect, but I Did love her. Do love her. And do miss her, but that is neither here nor there.

She's come up in convorsation so many times recently. Memories... comparasons... stories... Even a fight between Nath and I. She believed I was comparing her to Emily. It was completely absurd, but... Oh well.

"Oh well."

I've been saying that too much lately. Time to break that habit and start saying "******** GIMMIE"

I've been sitting back letting things roll as usual and it's got me nowhere. Time to pick up and grab what I want.


Anywho. Drunk right now but felt I should update. Going to stop before I ramble.

good night my friends and insane people who still read this.