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Alright. Here's the deal.

Katrina. We know that you are having trouble keeping contact with everyone and so have I to an extent. I think the last time that I actually hung out with friends was when I was invited to a group thing or when I had a spur of the moment thing occur. That's all.

We have tried to keep contact with you for quite some time but, every time we tried to do something of that sort, it seems to blow up in our faces just as much as your attempts do. It's not that we don't want to keep contact. It's just that we don't know what you want. We have set up several RPs where we can keep contact with one another and it doesn't seem like they are working. The RPs that you have created are fine and dandy but, there are major problems that hadn't been considered at all.

We as a whole don't know a lot about what the theme of the RP or message board is and that in itself is frustrating.

The group is not against you at all. In fact, no one is. The only reason why you didn't reach me on my phone is because NO ONE can reach me on my phone. I usually keep it off and that's how it has always been. Kaitlyn? Her phone is jacked up as it is. I can never get a hold of her.

We are not trying to cut you out of the group at all, Katrina. We are just so involved with things going on right now and all that is happening that we kinda haven't been paying attention to anything. If it helps any, you are invited to go with us on the 17th to Katie's birthday party. She invited everyone here and would like to see us attend if we can. Just give us a heads up when you are coming. It's sometime in the afternoon and should be over around 5 ish.

Let us know your thoughts and hopefully, we can see you.

That is exactly my point. I didn't hear anything about Katie's birthday party until just now. I'm usually on gaia everyday except for a few bouts of inactivity due to extreme tiredness, but gaia is a guaranteed way of contacting me. It doesn't help that for many years now I've seen everyone in complete contact with each other and I just assume it continues to today.

The message board, as I mentioned many times while we were still in school, is for us. Message boards don't generally have just one theme. They can be about anything. I have several areas for varying topics and discussion, but the board can't be run by two people. All the members have to participate at least a little. This attempt was a major backfire as the only one who ever visits the site is me.

As for RPs, I tried to make them as easily understandable as possible. I realize that none of you have read Maximum Ride or probably seen the Mummy, but the sources from which the ideas were taken have little to do with the plot and story of the RPs. All the information needed to RP I have given out. Besides, I sent out two invitations, the last requesting everyone to reply back regardless of whether they would join or not. And no one did.

You have to understand my situation here. I've been out of the loop from day one, which was, admittedly, my fault. However, the fact that it continued throughout school and past graduation isn't to be blamed entirely on me. As I stated, you were the first friend I ever made. I didn't know anything about relationships in second grade and still know very little because the people I befriended didn't care to teach me. All of you had friends before you met me, but the closest thing to a friend I had was a cousin who followed me around like my shadow and then up and left. During my entire first grade year I spent recess following a teacher around or sitting in a secluded corner by myself.

Do you honestly think that you are the only one who has not heard about Katie's birthday party? I just heard the news myself only yesterday. Don't immediately think that you were left out of the loop just because I just told you about it. As a matter of fact, I only told Robert today and Katelyn has no clue this is even going on.

On top of that, how were you being left out of the loop? I am quite curious to know how exactly we have failed to communicate with you and invite you to gatherings. Please inform me if I am totally and utterly lost. I have no idea as to how we screwed up.

Remember that I'm your friend and that I'm saying these things out of tough love.OK?

I'm sorry you feel that way. I like to think that I've tried to include you in almost all events that I plan. I tried inviting you to armageticon, but you didn't want to go. You wanted to go to Gen Con. There is nothing wrong with that because Katelyn and Robert are going, but I told you I might be at college by then. Then I invited you to the pool with us, but you didn't want to go because you don't like public pools. At that point you were already invited to go to Ikasu con, but again, you don't want to go, you want to go to Gen con. If you tried calling me once, I didn't get the message. If it hung up on you, it could have been Matt or Molly screwing with me. Try again if that ever happens. As for my life outside school...I don't have one..didn't...I got a job at Rollin's house in town. I volunteer now for all things activities because I didn't have enough things to do. If you want to hang, call me. If it's not your thing, then don't. I can't call you all the time and you are never online when I am. I'm quite the night-owl. You will have to make some sort of attempt to contact me, because I am hard to get to in the summer. I think you want to hang out, but only on your terms, and that can't be how it is.

-I've invited you to activities, but you never come. I don't know what you like to do, just what you don't like....
-Call/PM me/Post in the 2 RPs I'm in. You were invited to both. Calling me once isn't trying to keep in touch. If you tried calling me twice a day for a week and I never responded, I would understand. Trying to contact friends shouldn't be the end of the world.
-Now I'm going to tell you something you might not have known about your RP character on the yuyu RP. You are tough to talk to. You don't come across as a "hey, communicate with me kind of person". I tried to talk to you and you just snapped at me or made your character go to sleep. Even now, you are not excited about the trip to the zoo, or talking to anyone. You are just mumbling about how you don't want to do it. If you want friendly human contact, you might have to give some.
-As far as your laptop is concerned. Call me. You should come to my house sometime and I'll take a look at it personally. I'm limited online because I'm not looking at download screens/specs/files.
-Molly's phone is never on, you should call her home phone. If you don't have the number...call me. Then you should eat her arm off because I have trouble getting to her too. I'll help you. We'll both gnaw her ams off and all will be right with the world.
-As for your message board, it keeps saying that I'm already in on my account, but for the life of me, I can't get in. Also, just phone me. It's hard to have conversations online when we both aren't on, but on the phone, we both must be present to converse.
-PMs....you want to communicate through PMs, but none of them even hinted to want a reply back other than, when is so and so's party? Try starting one off with "hey, what do you think about...." and " hey...why..." You know, conversation starters.

Sorry, but it all had to be said. Believe me, I'm as frustrated about our lack of communication. Thing is, that we are both mad at each other for the same reasons. If you really want to communicate, call me, come to events I plan, plan a few yourself for July/early August, PM me. I would never leave you out of the loop on purpose, but you are going to have to try too. I'm sending you a PM with a link to my thread. Bump/chat with me...or don't...it's your choice. I can't force you to do anything.

I didn't say anything about invitations to gatherings, but if you would like some examples, here:

1. The zoo idea in the YYH RP-I had no idea until all my posts started being deleted and you sent me a PM.
2. The fact I never got to finish a sentence when we were together as a group or individually. That would be why you were confused about the message board. I tried explaining to everyone several times, but no one listened.
3. I didn't know Jeff had left the group or that he and Julie were going out until I heard you guys teasing them about their children.
4. I have joined most everyone's RPs yet my characters seem as if they're being played by an outsider because no one will interact with them except for maybe one or two people about twice a week. Why do you think I have posted in Katelyn's RP for awhile? Because there is no one to interact with. The same goes for both Robert's and your RP.
5. How much can you say you honestly know about me? Not much I'm sure and not because I haven't tried to tell you.

It's not that I think you guys don't care about me or want to be my friends, but when I see the way you are together I can't help but feel left out. I mean, you and Katie automatically partner up in most of the RPs. There's nothing wrong with that. I just wish I got the same kind of attention. Like I said before, it's not all your guys' fault. I'm to blame too. I didn't want you to get angry, but I won't apologize for saying all this because this is how I feel and I have a right to say it. And if my friends get angry at me for telling them how I feel, then what else can I do? I've been fearing this for four years now and to me it seems like my fears are coming true.

This is for Kaitlyn since my response to Molly is the post above.

I understand all of that and I'm really not angry about the phone call. As I said, that was one time and I can't expect to be allowed to be angry for that. As for your Rollin's House job, I didn't know about that until just now. That's one of the things I'm talking about. I can't very well call everyone up and say "Hey! Are you working here this summer?". That's the kind of thing that I need to be told without having to ask for it because I don't know to ask. You guys know what I'm doing all this summer, but not vice versa.

By the way, Molly, I''m sending you a pm to ask you what you're doing this summer since Kaitlyn gave me the idea.

And I wanted to go to the first convention, but I couldn't because it was a short notice change of plans and I had to work. The second trip, I didn't know who all was going and wasn't about to end up with a bunch of strangers. In case you couldn't tell, I'm very shy. That would also be why I seem to be very stand-offish, because I'm shy. Also, I'm trying to play my character as closely to me as possible. Honestly, I wouldn't mind going to a zoo in like the fall, but I can't stand heat and the setting is California where it's very hot. As for going to sleep in the RPs. I really don't know waht else to do. I'm not a real life mind reader so I don't know when you want to talk to me. Since we're both awake and on the bus why don't we have a conversation now? I'll send you a pm.

Finally, I just wanted to thank both of you for responding. I've been trying to think of something for the three of us to do before Kaitlyn leaves for college, but I really couldn't come up with much. I'll send you both a pm about it.

*hugzzzzz for Trii-chan*

They are not coming true at all, Katrina. It's just that some of the things that you mentioned are things that I myself didn't know about and happened such a long time ago. I had no clue Jeff and Julie were going out until I observed them. And I was the first to know that Jeff left because he was the one who told me in the first place that he was leaving the group.

Secondly, why do you say that your characters in the RPs never interact with anyone? If I may recall, in Gizmos, my character, Kelly, conversed with your character until your character blew her off. Not to mention that when a character does seem to talk to yours, they are either snapped at or blown off. It's not a one way street when it comes to RPs. If you want to seek interaction, you must interact yourself.

Thirdly, when Katie and I pair off, it is because we both have charismatic characters that get along with several people. They also tend to find one another and latch on with each other because they seem to get along the best. Plus, Katie and I are on ALL THE TIME and AT THE SAME TIME. We post like crazy when that happens and it happens ALL THE TIME. It happens when we are together. We are veteran RPers and we have characters that tend to go well with one another. It happens.

I don't know what else to do about this whole communication thing. I am getting a little overwhelmed with trying to keep contact with everyone and keeping them happy at the same time. I have done all I can by telling both Kaitelyns to let you know what is going on in the RP and I've told everyone that if they have questions, they can ask me.

I don't know what to do and I'm quite at a loss as to what is going on. Imagine being in my shoes. I keep the group somewhat grounded by being mediator. I have several things pulling me different ways at once. I can't please everyone.

It's not like I try to blow other character's off and I wasn't refering to Gizmos in any case because I remembered that your character interacted with mine. But my character's tend to be a little on the extremely shy side and are usually very withdrawn into themselves because that is how I am. Besides, as I recall we ran out of things to do and had to bring it to an end. Honestly, my gizmos character was way out of her personality bubble by talking with yours. It was fun and good for the characters because it showed she could be friendly, but she normally is very violent when interrupted. Both us know pretty much only books. That's where we find comfort and solace during the hard times.

No one knew about my second job until something came up and I couldn't go. I'm not going to call everyone about every little thing that happens to my life. If you had called and said..."hey, I was gonna...can you come to...." then I would have told you, but if you aren't making plans, it isn't life changing or anything.

About being shy....you don't have to be shy to me. I'm a friend, but in the RP, you are acting like you've never met me before. I'm trying to be friendly to you, but you won't talk to me and it makes me sad.

Also, don't feel bad about getting the word of events short notice. Usually, we do that. Like me? I live on short notice ^.^ I just found out that Ikasu con is in July and not August...*sigh* I won't be going after all...but I want to crying Most parties and stuff are scheduled on short notice. You aren't being left out.