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gone numb

given up on hope,
left off on trying.
smiling on the outside,
insides really dying.

wished for a change,
hoped in a miracle.
circle of life emerges,
love to loss is spherical.

like a rollercoaster,
spun me upside down.
felt so loved and happy,
til you slammed me to the ground.

looking for you,
pushing past the crowd.
straining eyes and voice,
screaming your name so loud.

i've lost you,
and i swear.
i'm gone and i'm hiding,
i'm never telling where.

i'm broken and lonely,
sad, crushed, depleted.
how did i miss it?
how could i not see where you cheated?

crying no more,
aware, alive but numb.
wishing i never knew,
why you'd never come.