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Sometimes I really don't like my dad. He is hardly around because of his job. When he is home, all he does is complain. He complains about everything he sees yet, doesn't do anything about it. He says he is teaching me responsibility which is a half-a** excuse for him not having to do anything. I'm so use to him not being here that its odd for me and my sister to have to share the house with him on weekends. In middle school he was home once every...three weeks maybe. And I wouldn't ever see him when he was home. I feel guilty for saying it but I kind of don't like it when he is home. I don't want to tell my mom or anyone else really because I don't want him to know. I feel like I would betray his trust. Right now hes in one of his pissy moods. He verbally abuses my family and has gotten violent on more then one occasion.

I'm scared a little. I don't know what my mom is going to do. She has threatened him with divorce. But when she talks to me she says she won't ever either because she loves him or she doesn't want to break up the family or she couldn't financially take care of my sister and I. Before we moved she had plans for leaving him and we all had a bag ready to grab so that at a moments notice we could leave. It scared me. I don't know who I would standby. I almost never tell anyone this stuff because I don't want to be a burden. Actually the real reason would have to be that my mom makes friends easily with people. She will be friends with them for a month or two then leave. I'm so used to shallow friendships that its hard for me to make a deep bond with some one I know I won't see after a couple months. Its like the character in a game or movie. You know they are going to die so you try not to get attached. Gosh....I didn't mean to depress my self....and I had good news too. Oh well that's for next time.

My Mood: depressed