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It seem's like nothing, seem's to go the way i want it to in my life. The gun i point to my head, with my name on the bullet. The thought of Suicide seem's to come easy now, I've gone from being in the light into darkness. Things are not what they used to be ,Missing one inside of me. No one but me can save myself, but it's too late. Now I can't think, think why I should even try Yesterday seems as though it never existed. Death Greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye i've become some kind of monster that i can no longer control. The drinking seem's to erase all the problems, i'm trapped under the ice that you have formed around me. I am left to be alone, What I've felt,What I've known Never shined through in what I've shown.Never free,Never me. So I dub thee unforgiven, i've said good bye to friend's and to romance. I'm going back to my bloody roots, am i evil? I think i maybe, the dream's i have are haunting me from day to day. I see myself slowly drifitng away from life, and going somewhere where i can be alone inside the darkness. I am not who i once use to be, i have changed for the worst. I am living on the edge, and fighting between life or death. The thing's you told me don't seem to even matter, the demon's have awoken and they seek out for me. Nothing else seem's to matter any more, The Struggle Within seem's to be stronger then i am. It all just seem's as wasted time, no one seem's to understand. My feeling's seem to not bother anyone, but when it come's to you and how you feel it's like i'm suppose to be there. And make it go all way no matter how i feel, i feel the demon's inside of me pulling me down. Down to a place where it seem's like i belong. I see death around the corner, waiting for the perfect time to get me it doesn't matter what i say or do. Cause i will never be the same, this is my last breath before i say good bye to it all. The thought of finding someone, seem's to cross my mind. But the question i end up asking is, is it even worth it to be brought down. I don't need nobody, and it seem's like i cannot trust anyone. I've become my own demon and my own best friend. Take this knife and stab me in the heart.
Strugglin and strivin, my destiny's to die. Keep my finger on the trigger, no mercy in my eyes. In a ball of confusion they never shoulda had me I guess I seen too many murders, the doctors can't help me. Got me stressin' with my pistol to my head. Ran out of endo and my mind can't take the stress, I'm out of breath. Make me wanna kill my damn self I see death around the corner,the pressure's getting to me I no longer trust anyone. under my clothes when I dress, here's hopin I die the way I lived. And even if I did die young, who cares. All I ever got was mean mugs and cold stares, I got you in my head and it seem's i just can't get you out. I can't give up, although I'm hopeless, I think my mind's gone. I paint a picture of the days gone by,When love went blind and you would make me see, I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes. So that I knew you were there for me, now when i look out i see no one looking back at me, Through the sleepless nights and every endless day you got peice's of me. I'm shattered all over the floor as you walk all over me I said I'd give my life for just one kiss,I'd live for your smile and die for your kiss. Fell in love with a twisted girl,Spent all my timewith you. And now i'm stuck paying the price, can't stand the heartache waste away another day into the night. You held me like a prisoner, i don't know why i let you bring me down so much. When you've just forgotten about me, she broke a million hearts i don't need a crystal ball
to tell you that what i feel, and what i'm going through doesn't even bother you. Paranoid delusions i see now that you haunt me, i'm alone i'm buried deep within the darkness of my heart. Searching for my soul that you ripped out of me. Maybe i was foolin or you were the one being the joker, i find myself alone again walking down the only road i know. By myself with no on my side, all i see is blackness and all i know is that i'm always alone. I thought i found the one, the one that made me happy the one that made ME who I really wanted to be inside. Waking up to be with you, to even talk to you and hear those word's i so long die for. Now it's a struggle to wake up each day, knowing that once again i am here. By myself all alone the thing's i feel and the thing's i picture in my head, would make you think i've gone crazy. I feel as if i am about to snap, and if i don't take my own life. I will take someone else's life... You feel as if it is i who is leaving you behind, when it is you who have left Me behind. The memory of all the good time's are there, but that's all they will ever be... memories. I have faded away, and shut out everyone around me. I'm scared to wake up each day, because it may just be MY last day. As the earth spin and life goes on, i am stuck in my own sorrow. I no longer know who i am, or what i will become or do.


WHAT is it that YOU want from ME?