holy ******** I'm not entirely sure how I manage to go into fast forward and completely ******** everything up within a matter of days when it takes normal people months if not years.
But I guess I'm not to blame for the End of Sam and I, but she is.
So, Sammy and I did eventually have our talk about everything. I ended up going to her apartment a couple days ago with eric. Tiffany (her roomate) and Emily were there.
Eric, Emily and Tiffany decided to go get stoned at Jessy's place (friend of eric's) And sam and I both said we didn't want to go. we spent three hours just chitchatting about life, and said we'd save the serious "What are we?" Discussion for the next day when it wasn't so late.
Had fun that night. Ended up giving her a full backrub just cause it's as much fun for me as it is the person receiving it.
So the next day comes and we have our talk. She says she just wants to be friends but keeps dropping hints that she's going to regret the decision because of how I would have treated her like a goddess.
anyway, we end the night on decent terms... The next day comes and Eric and I got hammered on vodka... I ended up going over to Sam's because it was emily's last night in moncton and I thought I'd say goodbye.
Now... I had been texting Nathalie all day. Keep this in mind, and also keep in mind that Emily had recently told sam that I was using her against nathalie and using Nathalie against sam to get them both jealous. COMPLETE BULLSHIT by the way, but whatever. Sam was weary of this fact and decided to pick up the phone that I had thrown inside to show sam that I wanted to talk just to her, since I had been receiving texts from Nath.
So... she went inside. I'm drunk so I don't really have foresight as to potential ******** that could happen because of a misplaced Cell.
Sam picks up my phone and proceedes to violate my privacy and reads the backlog of messages Nath and I had sent. One of which included "I miss you." And "I wish I was there right now"
It was Nathalie's birthday... and I do miss her cause I never get to talk to her anymore. And I wanted to be there cause she was having a s**t birthday and I wanted to make her feel better, since I am a friend.
Sam took this as I wanted to be with Nath more than I wanted to be around her. which if that were true, I WOULD have been with Nathalie that night instead of gone to visit her.
So She accuses me of being two-faced. Using her, and being an a*****e. By this time I have tears streaming down my face because she accused me of the worst things possible. I don't use people. I've been used and I Do NOT use people.
When she saw th etears she accused me of being fake, just because I was an actor for 10 years of my life. Said that I was just acting and wasn't really hurt, and that she caught me in my lies..
yea okay. Whatever. I realized then and there that she was just looking for an escape rout because she was getting way too attached to me for her liking and she was scared. That's fine. I decided to let her go and make it easy on her. So I stormed off Saying "******** you Sam."
She sends a text to me while I'm wandering around the city LOST and drunk. "So I guess I won't see you for a while then?"
I didn't respond. I continued walking, ripped the pictures that she had given me that I had in my wallet in 4 and tossed them on the street.
I ended up finding my way, but I realized I was walking straight toward her and he rfriends. so I Took a detour, when Eric came up behind me, with a low whistle as a signal.
I stopped. He suggested we go back to the appartment but I just collapsed on the curb and broke out in massive sobs that I couldn't stop.
I Blame the vodka. and the fact that I allowed her to use me twice within a week.
So I haven't spoken to her since. Emily's gone back to her grandparents, and everything should be going back to normal at work from now on.
It was a fun month while it lasted. Plenty of Chaos to keep me occupied.
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