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A long night to say the least; two hours of sleep tops, and broken sleep at that. I can't explain what kept me up this time. After falling asleep sometime around 4 I woke up at 4:30 and then again at 4:50. I can vaguely remember having a dream, though i can't remember what its about, yet I can't replace the feeling that it's the cause of my nearly sleepless night. Even now I can feel it just outside of my thoughts, ready to spring when I close my eyes again.

Speaking of dreams, my reoccurring ones seem to be getting worse again. I haven't yet been able to erase the feeling of dread every time I wake from it. I'm beginning to wonder if I should consult someone on this...

Either way, other than the inability to sleep through a night soundly unless A (and you shall have to deal with that, you will be getting no name from me) is still here, I find that life has become better in the last few months than it ever has been. It's amazing how much things can change when you least expect them to. I had given up on finding anyone or anything that could really change me back to at least a part of who I had been. And, just when I did, I find the only person who can. I have been revived fully and find that it makes it considerably easier to make it through a day. Granted, when I haven't yet spoken to him in a day, I find myself considerably less jubilant than when I do, but even the breeze of that mood proves 100 times less bitter than it has been for years now. Needless to say the people around me haven't really noticed my drastic change in mood, but what does it matter?

Ahh, that reminds me, as my first entry I should probably inform you of those people. It's simple enough:

~You have A, my savior and love. Assumptions have been made to the identity of this person before and I'm telling you now, you're probably wrong, so don't bother. He will be in every entry, more than once, so just get used to the fact that the only hints you will have to this amazing man is through what I say there. He means more to me than anyone, than anything, than life itself.

~Eros. A name well known to my friends, he is my mini cupid. I have an odd connection with my cat, one you probably won't understand till later, so I think I'll refrain from explaining now. He is my most rambunctious muse and tied in second place, with the next on this list in fact, for my favorite and most loved. Did I mention A is my number one? Oh yes, and he's a cat.

~Toby, my loving pups that's nearing the size of a horse. Not being the brightest animal, but easily the sweetest, Toby is my protector and friend. He is not your average dog, but you'll see that later.

~T, the amazing friend that helps keep me sane and laughing. He's my oldest friend, sad since its only been... 5 years? He's sarcastic and mean, but definitely among my favorite people ever. His personality matches mine in an odd way. They are far from the same at the same time that they are. He means very much to me and has a major part in my life.

~JJC, a sister I am more fond of then I used to be. She can be nice when she likes and takes a major role in my life, weather I like it or not. 10 years between our ages make the relationship less strained then closer siblings and our like minds keep us in tune to what the other is thinking. We get into our fair share of fights, but we recover fairly quickly.

~Tay, another good friend. She is one of the few people from around HERE that i can stand. Fun and interesting, we get along extremely well. I suppose her part in this story will be determined by her, and no one else.

~Mother dear... she means a lot to me, as all mothers do, but also tends to hurt me more than anyone when she can't follow through with what she tells me.

~Father dear. There is little I can say about him right now. When sober and not tired he is the teddy bear I remember from my childhood, the guy that I loved more than anything else, that I could never ever be mad at, no matter what I wanted that he wouldn't give me. But now... he's not the man he used to be. I can't say that when he's in a good mood I feel no affection, but we don't have the relationship a healthy family should. That means none of us, not just him and I.

~Bobby, the irritating brother. He actually has little to do with my life and you need little knowledge of him other than our 13 year difference and the fact that he does exist.

~Me, no more than a little Sarah Jane (not my name, obviously, meant only in the way that so many people use it now, to represent the epitome of plain, which, I'm sure, all real Sarah Jane's find quite offensive), whose name has no meaning. You'll learn I am 'I' and 'Me' alone.

There may be more people introduced, there may not. Either way, this is my story, and I'm sticking to it.