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HILARIOUS THINGS TO DO


DRIVE THRU:

>Have a friend hide in the trunk and have them start banging on the trunk shouting, "HELP!!!"

>When they ask to take your order scream, “ACK!! WHO SAID THAT?!?"

>When they ask to take your order say, "Sorry I'm not here at the moment. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!!" then drive away.

>At midnight, ask if you’re too early for Breakfast.

>Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.

>Pay for a large order in pennies

>Drive in circles around the drive through, ordering just one item of your order each time you pass the window. For added fun, change clothes, hairstyles, glasses and fake beards with each pass.

>When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window-shopping and drive on.

>Ask the cashier how they fit into that little box.

>Demand to speak to the manager. When they come out, complain that you did not like the way the employee said, "May I take your order?"

> When asked if they can take your order say, "No." Then wind up your window and just sit there staring straight ahead.

> If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you.

>When they hand you your food, hand them a bag with all the trash from your car in it. For more fun, Make sure it smells.

>Honk your horn the whole way through the line.

>Belch your order.

>Order confusing items. (i.e., "Hi, I'll have a large orange Coke and a small medium fries, please." wink

>Drive through with a carload of naked people.

>Speak in such a garbled fashion that the order-taker will think there is a problem with the speaker and ask you to order at the window. When you arrive at the window, speak in the same garbled, incomprehensible fashion.

>Change a flat tire in the drive-thru lane.

> In a crowded drive-thru line, place a HUGE order, then slip out of line and watch the fun as the person behind you is handed 40 bags of food.

PUBLIC RESTROOM:

>Go into one of the stalls and start unraveling the toilet paper while purring loudly with an occasional "meow"

>turn off the lights and let out a blood-curdling scream and yell "The end is near! They're coming! WE'RE DOOMED!!!"

>If the toilets have automatic flushers (meaning they flush by themselves), make one flush and be like "WOW!" and get really excited, then run out and grab a random person, take them to that stall, point to the toilet, and say "Would you look at that? These things these Muggles dream up!"

>If the sinks have stoppers in them, stop them all up and run water in them flooding the bathroom, then run into a stall, and start moaning sorrowfully.

>When you're in a stall, make your cell phone ring and pretend to answer it and pretend to be talking to someone while making an occasional fart noise through your mouth during the conversation and apologize to the "person on the other end of the line" every time you do so.

>If the bathroom has a sprinkler system (which is usually a spiky device on the ceiling in case you don't know), carry a cigarette lighter in, ignite it and hold it up next to the sprinkler (you might have to stand on something if you're not tall enough to reach the ceiling) until the sprinkler turns on. As everyone is panicking and running out, stay where you are and sing "Remember When It Rained" by Josh Groban.

>Smear chocolate all over your hand and tell the next person in line that this stall is out of toilet paper.

>Take one of those jugs of water and just keep pouring it into the toilet.

>Make this huge excruciating farting sound, while taking a backpack full of stink bombs and smashing it on the floor. Then RUN.

>Replace rolls of toilet paper with rolls of sand paper

>Put itching powder on the toilet seats.

>Scream " Oh my GOD! What the hell is THAT?"

>Place signs warning of 24 hour video surveillance.

>Run in, yelling "Free Willy!"

>Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.

>Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise

>Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

>Say "Damn, this water is cold."

>Say, "Now how did that get there?"

ELEVATOR:

>Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.

>Say 'Ding!' at each floor.

>Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers

>scowl painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut UP!”

>Sell Girl Scout cookies.

>Whistle or hum the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.

>Shave.

>Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

>When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open. Then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

>Talk to yourself

>Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: “I’ve got new socks on!”

>Meow occasionally.

>Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose

>Frown and mutter “gotta go, gotta go” then sigh and say “oops!”

>Holler “Chutes away!” whenever the elevator descends.

>Burp, and then say “mmmm…tasty!”

>Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce “You’re one of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.

>Say “I wonder what all these do” and push the red buttons.

>Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space.”

>Bring a chair along.

>Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

>Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings

>Blow spit bubbles.

>If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler “Bad touch!”

>Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

>When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay. Don’t panic, they open up again.”

>Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

>Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue fervidly that it wasn't you.

>Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

>Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon, especially effective if victim is male, even more effective if you yourself are male.

>Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

>Propose to the other passengers.

>Challenge people to duels.

>Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

>Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.

>Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.

>Shout "Food fight!"

>Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

>Shout out loud in the elevator," YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY TOO?" and start making out with your left shoulder.

>Pretend like you are crying, press all the buttons, and say "I WANT ONE!" to another person standing next to you

>ask of someone has an extra pair of underwear with them

>ask someone if they want to see your wenis (elbow skin)

>Sing the Spaghetti Song loudly.

>walk calmly into the elevator saying "this is my first time on one." then wait until the doors close and bang on the doors and walls screaming loudly, "HELP! LET ME OUT!"

>As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting “Down! I said down, damn it!”

>Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone’s shoes.

>Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming “Ack! Get them off!”

>Try to get a game of “Twister” going.

>Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away.

>Pick up the emergency phone and try to order pizza.

>Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

>Walk in with a friend and stand in the front of a crowded elevator. Person 1: Sure I will take the case, but why did you shoot the guy? Person 2: Because he kept starin’ at the back of my head…

>When it's very quiet, randomly yell out, "I LOST THE GAME!!"

WAL*MART:

>run around the store laughing and flipping people off

>walk around loudly and purposefully off key singing weird songs

>get a group of friends and play hide and seek in the clothing dept

>walk up to fat or chubby guys (no girls) and poke their belly saying "baby?" in a childish voice

>go around randomly biting people

>get a remote control car and hide and when people aren’t looking drive it in front of their feet and trip them with it then drive it away quickly.

>run around throwing shoes at people

>Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters

>When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

>Play with the automatic doors.

>While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this sh*t, anyway?"

>Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

>Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

>Act like your about to cry and ask people "Have you seen my mommy?"

>Stand next to a mannequin and pretend that you’re a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. "Finally, my shift is done. I really don't get paid enough to do this"

>Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

>Hit on 5 year olds or the elderly

>Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

>While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

>Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

>Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually

>Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms

>Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the MEN’S rest room

>Hold indoor shopping cart races

>When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?!"

>Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

>TP as much of the store as possible

>Put M&M's on layaway.

>As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

>Randomly walk up to an employee and start speaking in a different language.

>Disguise yourself as a greeter, and when you see people entering the store, say to them, “Hi, welcome to Wal*Mart. Get your Sh*t and get out! Have a nice day…”

>go to the appliance department and sit down on the show toilets with a newspaper and whenever someone walks by say, “CAN I HAVE A LITTLE PRIVACY?!”

>When someone talks into the intercom, go into the fetal position and cry out, “No! It’s those voices again!”

> Dress like a hobo and sniff peoples' pockets.

>Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

>Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

>Fart with your armpits by a crowd and say, "What did you eat?!?!?" If you don’t know how to do the armpit trick, use a fart machine.

>Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a prissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." to people who walk by, and don't forget to have perfect posture.

>Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like your having some kind of massive seizure.

>Walk up to a guy and say "Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it is!!! I haven't seen you in so long!!!!" Then kiss him. Then slap him and say "Why didn't you ever call me??" Then walk away. It is much more affective if you're a guy.

> Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!”

> Get several bouncy balls out of a machine and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, Pikachu, go!"

>Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down. Once you have mastered this, progress to "boobs".

AMUSEMENT PARK:

>go around and say, "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, don’t be rude, raise the seat" in a fancy woman’s voice, watch their strange reaction

>"trip" and spill drinks on people, then say splash!!

>when the loud speakers come on, or when you’re near karaoke, scream OH NO, THE VOICES, THE VOICES, THEY'RE BACK!! HELP ME, PLEASE!!! THEY'RE GONNA KILL ME!!

>be the first one to the park and put up a closed sign, you'll have the park to yourself.

>If you’re in Disneyland, disguise yourself as one of the characters and start scaring the little kids out of the vicinity.

> [For Disneyland] (Guys) Flirt with the female Disney characters. (Girls) Do the same to the male Disney characters.

>Dress as Santa Claus and strut around the park. If somebody (preferably a child) tells you what they want for Christmas, try to scare them or gross them out. If you’re sitting on a bench and a child sits on your lap or attempts to, do the same thing.

>Make fake retching sounds in the stalls in public restrooms or portables. Gross out as many people as you can.

>Skip around and sing loudly “I’m a Little Bit Drunk” with a small group. See if you can get others to join in. Improvise lyrics.

>Disguise yourself as one of your favorite celebrities or fictional characters, and walk around the park without getting noticed.

>Two Words: Fart Machine!

>While on a ride, if someone sits next to you, cry out, “Hey! Don’t sit on Bob! (or any other random name)”

MOVIE THEATER:

>every gunshot, scream "Hit the floor!" and jump down

>During the film, leave, announcing loudly that you are going to the bathroom

>Shout "look behind you!" at the actors

>Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing"

>Cry at the happy moments… Loudly.

>During the previews, yell out "Can you fast forward it please?"

>Go "Ooooooooooh" whenever someone kisses

>Go to a horror movie and scream at every minor thing.

>Scare people by sitting under their chair

>Bring your own flashlight... Pretend you’re the usher

>Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late

>Stand up for the entire movie

>creep around on the floor, grabbing feet

>Instead of the cinema food, bring in soup and eat loudly

>scream at the scary parts about a minute after they happen

>Attempt skateboarding tricks in the aisles

>bring a fake arrow and during the battle scenes yell out "I'VE BEEN HIT!!"

>bring a large cell phone and talk loudly into it

>sing titanic theme song in the middle of the war scene

>Go in with your friends dressed as the Mafia, and start harassing people

>Sit on old people, pretending not to know they are there

>Clap and cheer when the good guys get killed

SCHOOL:

>organize a whole bunch of people to fall off their chairs at the same time

>write fake love notes and slip them into people's lockers

>if someone near you falls asleep in class, tie their shoelaces to the desk/chair.

>superglue quarters to the floor, count how many people try to pick them up

>place chalk inside the erasers so the teachers end up putting big old lines across the blackboard

>leave a Snickers bar in the toilet.

>ask people to hold your hand when going down the stairs

>End the paper with "This paper will self-destruct in 10 seconds".

>Make a tape of you singing the contents of your paper, opera- style, and hand that in

>Refer to all prominent historical figures by nicknames. For example, call George Washington "Georgie". Call Ben Franklin "Sparky".

>When writing an especially long paper, put a recipe for chocolate cake (or any other dessert) in the middle and see if the professor notices

>Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder.

>Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board

>Ask whether a chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.

>Sing your questions

>Page through the textbook scratching each picture and sniffing it.

>Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters "CHECK YOUR FLY".

>Address the professor as "your Excellency".

>Shout "WOW!" after every sentence of the lecture.

>Start a "wave" in a large lecture hall

>When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream "AAAGH! MY EYES!"

>Interrupt every few minutes to ask the professor, "Can you spell that?"

>On your essays or reports, use your favorite celebrity or fictional character as an example.

AIRPORT/AIRPLANE:

>dress up as a priest and walk around splashing Holy Water at everyone passing by

>From the second you take off, every ten seconds say in the same voice "are we there yet?"

>Occasionally scream........loudly.

>Delight your fellow passengers with your impression of a plane crashing in to the sea, complete with sound effects.

>As the plane is landing, adopt the 'Duck and Cover' position as you scream "WE ARE GOING TO CRASH! ONLY DEATH AWAITS US ALL NOW! DEATH I TELLS YA!!!!" when you land safely, stand up and leave the plane normally, thank the stewardess for a lovely flight.

>At the airport, wear a uniform and claim you are the pilot, get annoyed if they don't believe you but DON’T give up, see how far you can get

>Most airports do not play music over the PA too many announcements. So find yourself a quiet corner, turn to face the wall, and start singing. Or, Skip the quiet corner, go straight to the departures lounge and sing there.

>Yell across the plane every time the fasten seatbelt sign is turned off.

>Try to get everyone to do the conga

>When the inflating bags come down, say, “look, party hats! Where’s the cake?

>Keep pressing the flight attendant button every 5 minutes and tell them “Bob is going into labor, Bob is sick, Bob is mentally ill (etc…).” If they ask who Bob is say “Bob is... everything!”

MALL:

>Go into a potted plant store, dimly lit preferably, sit down and start meditating. When someone comes by, jump up, grab their hand, and make random predictions about the future.

>Go into a store where the uniforms of the clerks are white. When the intercom comes on, fall to the floor clutching your head and moan "No, no, shut up voices!" and other signs of having voices in your head. When an assistant comes by, point to them and say in a terrified voice "Your one of THEM!"

>Go into a hunting store. Grab a bow and start prowling around quietly. When someone asks what you are doing, say "Sh! I'm huntin' wabbits!"

>Hide in a coat rack. When someone comes by, whisper "Pick me! No, pick ME!"

>Hide in/behind plants and throw water balloons at passer-bys.

>Have a water gun fight

>Wear a black cape and claim that you are batman

>Ask the information desk for a stroller, and someone to push you around in it.

>Get into one of the display cars, act like you're driving, and when people are walking by, say, “I didn't know that you could keep up with a car at 60 mph!”

>Dress up as a hero from an anime/manga and try to save someone who is in danger

>Ask a salesperson if a certain color of underwear matches your hair

>Act like you lost your balance and walk in a zigzag line (for more fun, “accidentally” run into things, like walls, chairs, and people)

>Go up to a security guard, and tell him you like his pants. For more fun, ask him if you can have his pants

>Search through a bin of jellybeans saying that you lost your pet spider

>Follow someone and ask them a question over and over again

>Try to jump off the walls

>Kiss random people

>Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big

>Record belches on electronic sampling keyboards, and then perform gastric versions of Jingle Bells for admiring onlookers

>Show people your driver's license and demand to know "whether they've seen this man."

>Answer any unattended service phones that ring in department stores and say ‘Domino’s.