S'MADE BY ME. LAWL. I WAS BORED. D;
Chronicles of Wickingham
“LFG”
By YUR MOMMA 8D
“NEXT!” a woman called out. Another sad man walked from the table. This was the LFG or LFM square; where all adventurers start most their journey. LFG meant Looking for Group and LFM meant Looking For More. You see, in all the lands, it’s smart to have a group of people who wants to be a hero, protector, adventurer etc or simply do quests. Today the square was overly crowded. But the only table that was crowded was Matilda and Fala’s table.
Matilda is a Ranger, or a “Hunter.” She has nature abilities and has special bonds with animals. She prefered bows and if resorting to close combat, a one handed sword or a nice, sharp dagger. She’s quick tongued, sarcastic and tend to not engage in conversation too much. May I add that she is beautiful? Her looks can be decieving though; she looks like a necromancer or a mage. This often leads to her being chased by torches or dozens of mean looks.
Fala is her trusty companion who is a black wolfazer. A wolfazer is a type of elite, magic wolf that is smarter, has more strength, stamina and defence. They are quite rare now adays though. They usually have armour on and an insignia on their chest that showed their mark of their master. But today, Fala didn’t have her armour on.
The newborn or experienced adventurers lined up for her table, for many reasons. One, she was beautiful and most of these people are dolts. Two, she was quite powerful, well not POWERFUL, but A LOT more skilled than most of the people here. Three, she is quite famous in these parts of Wickingham and traveling with her meant you’d get famous too.
Matilda wanted to go into more far away lands than Wickingham. The monsters here are getting too weak and not much a challenge. One by one the men and woman left the table looking sad. “This is starting to feel like Wickingham Idol isn’t it Fala?” Matilda sighed. Fala nodded in agreement. “…A registered sex offender?! Are you serious? Get out of my sight!” Matilda yelled at the man who looked like a knight. She sighed again and whispered to herself “PLEASE help me find a group!”
“The Knight and the Priest”
Jethro and Theo walked down the path that headed to LFG square. Theo twirled his mace around, blew his platinum blonde hair out of his face and Jethro was hungrily eating his lamb on a stick. Theo looked disgusted and spit out “How can you eat that, that poor animal!? At least give it SOME dignity about eating it!” “It’s just a sheep out of hundreds in the land!” Jethro replied with his mouth full. “For all you know if could be Pooky!” Theo shot back at him. Pooky was the lost lamb that Jethro was very close to. “I lost my appetite, THANKS TO YOU!” he halfyelled. He gave his stick to a man who was sifting through garbage. The man gave him a sweet smile, without teeth. Then a beautiful maiden walked past the pair. “Hey there sweet nightengale, Did your father have sex with a carrot? Cause you've got nice eyes” Jethro said as he winked and flexed his muscles. The lady grimaced and walked away.
Jethro is a young knight, not well known but he is quite strong and one of the best knights around. He used either one handed maces, shields or his favourite long sword, Betsy. Today Betsy was taking a nice stroll with him.
Theo is a priest that is quite known for his holyness and banishes. He’s also about the same age as Jethro. More known than Jethro and used either his mace or a shortstaff with a cross on it that he kept with him on his back.
They were very best friends since they were children and always did quests togethor (even if they didn’t really need one another).
When they finally arrived to the Square, they immediately noticed the huge lineup. “I wonder who Mr. Bigshot is today.” Jethro said with a chuckle. Theo just said “I think we should line up.” “What!? Why! I don’t wanna wait!” Jethro responded. “It might do well for us Jethro; I don’t wanna be stuck in this town forever. This one seems like the real deal.” Jethro still didn’t seem convinced. “By the way, it’s Ms. Bigshot. She’s a real nightengale!” Theo said, knowing that Jethro was in the bag. “I’m in!” Jethro said brightly, without thinking.
After a few hours, Theo and Jethro were sweaty as ever and was about to give up because they were only still at half of the lineup. Jethro brushed away his semi-long black hair away. Then a booming yell came out. “THOSE WHO ARE UNDER 14, OR THOSE WHO HAS NOT EVEN FINISHED 3 QUESTS, PLEASE LEAVE THE LINE IMMEDIATELY. IF YOU INTEND TO TRICK US, FALA WILL BITE YOUR” A chubby man from the tavern gave a loud burp. “OFF. IS THAT CLEAR?” Tonnes of people left the line and before they knew it, Jethro and Theo were second in line. In front of them was Faludoris Switzman, one of THE most famous knights in the lands. Jethro almost peed his pants at sight of him. “By the gods, keep your chimchum’s clean! He is just another knight” Theo whispered. Although they were quite close, they couldn’t actually hear. The only word they heard was “Rejected. Next!” They couldn’t believe their ears.
“Audition”
“NEXT ALREADY!” Matilda called out impatiently, she’s been sitting here for hours and not ONE person interested her. The two boys stepped up to the table. The boy with blonde hair had high cheek bones and an amazing jawline. He had aqua blue eyes as well. The other boy was quite muscular. He had black hair that covers his eyes, and like the blonde boy, he had high cheekbones and an amazing jawline. His eyes were light green which was very rare for a black haired boy.
“What are your names?” she said lazily. Theo responded “My name is Theo and this is my best friend Jethro.” He said it with authority but not sounding too much of a jackass. Matilda brightened up with interest. “And what are your classes?” she asked. “I’m a priest and he’s a knight” he said more kindly. “Experience in quests and monsters ecetera?” she said, peaking in interest. “We have done…” he said while pulling out a scroll. “25 quests; 16 easy quests, 8 medium quests and 1 hard one. Our highest monster we ever killed was a level 15 elite.” “What did you have to do in the hard quest?” she asked. “Had to go through a gnoll camp to get a special tome for Mr. Featherson” Jethro said while flexing his arms. Matilda gave him a look. “Alright, you’re hired!” she said with sarcastic excitement. “I GOT MY GROUP ALREADY! CLEAR OUT!” Matilda yelled. People groaned and started swearing.
“One question, why did you reject Faludoris?” Theo asked curiously. “And what’s your name, pretty lady?” Jethro asked with excitement. “Oh the pompous baffoon? He was unskilled and arrogant. Oh uh… It’s Matilda. Also kid, you are way out of my league” Matilda said, unfazed. “Plain hard to get huh?” Jethro said with a wink. “But Jethro is an arrogant cow’s butt” Theo said, ignoring Jethro who started yelling at him. “Cow butts are better than baffoons” she said politely “let’s go to the tavern.”
“The Fourth Party Member”
The group headed into the tavern and they took their seats. Matilda sat at the counter while the other two sat at a table. Theo had to almost hold Jethro down so he wouldn’t tackle one of the waitresses. “You’re worse than a dog and a squirrel!” Theo hissed. But Jethro wasn’t listening, he was staring at Matilda and a strange man who a blue hooded robe on. “Who’s the person she’s talking to?” he asked. “Well I don’t know who the darn he is! But hey there fella’s! My name is Bella and I’ll be your waitress for today as you already know since you’ve seen me every time you’ve been here! ‘Nd don’t you look handsome today Jethro!” Bella said, flicking her brown hair and gushing without fake excitement. “Oh thanks Bella” Jethro said, uninterested and kept on looking at Matilda. Bella looked like she was whipped by a cow’s tail. “Um, what would you boy’s like to drink?” she said with less happiness. “I would like the Herbal Tea and Jethro would just like the usual peach MgGressy” Theo said with a smile. “Alright then!” Bella perked up and walked away, serving another table that was on the other side of the room.
“Stop being such a squirrel bum fluff!” Theo hissed at Jethro again. “W-what? What happened? They shook hands and are smiling! MY MATILDA IS WITH ANOTHER MAN!” Jethro said in a voice that was louder than a normal voice. “YOU’RE Matilda?” Theo started laughing “She wouldn’t date you even if she had to roll around in pigs’ mud!” he continued laughing. “For your INFORMATION, she’s just playing hard! I’ll catch that nightengale’s heart one day Theo!” Jethro said as he gripped his fists and slammed the table. “Uhuh, Rigghhhht” Theo said while he chuckled. Bella came around, served the drinks and smiled at Jethro. Jethro was still smiling about catching Matilda’s heart that she thought she was smiling at her. She giggled and pranced away.
Then one of the more “mature” waitresses walked by their table and Jethro came out of his trance, dropped his mouth, stared at her behind and almost drooled. Theo quickly closed his mouth, made him sit straight and contined to sip his herbal tea peacefully. (Theo has been through this alot) As Jethro continued to watch the waitress’s buttocks, Matilda finally came over with the man in the robe. “I’d like you to meet Boris, you’re fourth party member” she said with a sly smile. “Wait, what?” Jethro said as he snapped back to reality. Jethro grimaced at the man; he was in his 40’s, a long brown and gray beard with piercing silver eyes. “Do you have some fetish with old AND young men, Matilda?” Jethro said curiously. SMACK!
“On the Way to… Mom’s House?”
"Alright let's pack our stuff and leave this hellhole" Matilda said while eating a cookie. "Uh... theres one problem.." Jethro said shyly. "What is it?" Boris said happily. Jethro glared at him and said "We have to visit my mother, old man.
Electrified Coco Puffs Community Member 
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