The lonelist girl
had nothing in the world
no friends, no love
nothing to do but sit in her room
and wait for her parents to abuse her
her father was an alcoholic
her mom was addicted to heroine
beatting her is their favorite game
laying on the floor
she cries
with each hit she dies alittle inside
her eyes are red with the tears she cried
with every punishment
she thinks she'll die
it's sad how she's got it bad
she wants out
of the hell house
to walk in a world of her own
but with no other family
there is no where to go
school sucks nothing is right
she is 15 and ready to take her life
careful days of planing
putting the blade to her wriste
hoping for a last wish
theres no one to save her
no one coming at all
the only noise is her parents fighting down the hall
blood runs down her arms and hits the floor
theres a pounding at the door
she's not going to answer
because she's no longer home
oshi-nawa Community Member 
|
|
Community Member
the flow could have been improved a bit [some rhymes werent rhyming, but those that did were well used]
the fourth an third last lines rhymed but were a bit queer
the concept is a little confusing but i get where your coming from -nods-