sorry about that. I didn't mean to not be able to actually put an entry in the last few days.
Ok so there is good news because you know what... I decided that I have been walking in shock long enough. If you don't know what I mean by that you can go over to Sweetangeltoes journal and see. I also do that journal since she doens't use it. You can find her on my profile page under friends. I could explain her right now but I won't.
Anyway the good news is... I feel better. I really really do. And I got out of the house and went to the store today. Yesterday I actually went to Wal-mart and picked up a few things. It was so nice to be out and about but today it was really nice even though I wasn't gone long.
Tiffany looks good. I am glad of that. And they are both watching their diets so that she only eats healthy things. I am glad of that too. Leon is taking a real interest in things and he really cares. This is a good thing.
Anyway, really just wanted you to know that I am feeling much better. And I am going to try to do better at doing my entries from now on.
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You know, I think our shock at things is a way our brain has of sorting out things. It's like a computer. Put in too much information at once and it causes a lock. Well, I think shock can be a good thing sometimes because it removes us from the situation. Then our brain slowly starts to feed us information in tiny bits and we are more capable of getting the information, processing it and understanding and reacting to the situation. It's then when we decide if we are going to continue with our lives or let the situation control us. When we take our first step toward restarting our lives it is an accomplishment. We could have chosen "the why me, poor me" tactic, or the "ostrich" tactic of ignoring the situation and hoping it goes away. Not only does it not go away, but it is compounded by our refusale to acknowledge it. Others know it's there, family knows it's there and our refusal to acknowledge it brings turmoil to those that accept it for what it is. So just accept it and move on. Hence the saying "Grin and bear it". Or, "into each life a little rain must fall" . But remember, after the rain there is a rainbow. In your case a grandchild to love and snuggle. And a son who will never know the horrors of war.
Sure does hope this helps. I know it helped me when my life went kablooey! a few years ago. So smile, and know that your friends and family love you!! heart