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Everytime I screw up, it's like I feel like I'm hurting myself.
I don't like to see people watch me mess up.
Then I feel like they can yell at me all they want and maybe I deserve it.
It hurts.
I'm constantly trying to prove to myself I don't screw up.
But I don't like it.
It makes me feel stupid.
Humans tend to mess up.
That's the way they are.
But for me, I wanna prove myself that I can make it somewhere or make it with someone..
I don't like to hurt others with what I do.
I don't like to mess up when I don't intend it.
I mean, growing up I was told I was stupid, worthless, insufficient when I messed up.
It was a choice to mess up.
Only because people can be so careless.
And maybe I am careless.
But I often try not to be..

I realize now that I have to learn from my mistakes until letting it hit me down.
People observe what you do wrong to help pick you up.
Not hurt you.
And I guess I learned that.
And it shouldn't get me down.
Nothing's my fault.
Nothing's self inflicted.
Things just happen and I just have to put one foot in front of the other.