Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

"idk, it's like, you grow up with all those oddities, and it sort of feels like crap, and then this light is being dangled, and so many people happily take it away"

Yeah, said that, decided I'd put a bit more since I was explaining that to another bisexual person who already knows it all.

I'll try to leave my personal experiences out and be general, but really, most people who are against see it as sort of this "eww, they think i'm hot, get the hell away" type thing. Which I feel to some extent, they're allowed that, which is why we have to respect that and be quiet as hell until the "you're barking up the wrong tree" becomes an appropriate repsonse.

The thing is though, that, well I promised to leave my experience out but I'm sure most get this situation. I'm not saying bisexuals have it worse than gays, and I imagine it's similiar, but we sort of, well I at least, being in such a religious community sort of wouldn't acknowledge I was at first. It was more of a jealousy thing, but later I found out I wasn't only jealous of someone, but also attracted to, which is among the strangest things to ever feel if you can't imagine it. And also the rejection bit as well exists I mean I hear so many girls go "He'll never love me" and such, but I mean, at least you're the correct gender. And there's sort of this awkward attitude playing into it all. Not only is none of this explained to us when we're younger, but people are so open if they dislike gays. f**, you know? Great word to use isn't it? Doubt that'll be as offensive as ******, spick, or raghead anytime soon. I mean it is, really. And it's just like, so common and on the daily basis that the only type of guys I am ever able to feel any attraction towards, are the ones I've never heard speak, because they're the ones I've never heard hateful things from.

Granted, I'm not only Bi and was able to avoid this all, but also seem straight at first glance, so no one said it to me directly, but that doesn't make it feel better. I mean, if I hate THAT black person for being black instead of the one I'm talking to I'm not racist am I? That's sort of the pressure of coming out. It's almost like...I dont know, I can't find an equal comparisson. Because nothing in my opinion is equal to the odd situation of this for multiple reasons. I'm not saying there haven't been worse things over religion, race, or gender, but nothing is odd since we never discuss sexual things on a common chat, we never were shown that such things were all right, we never were raised in a place were kids who take in the violence they learn at age five from sports and use the slurs often, suddenly have an open heart and will so happily change their ways to accept us, we never got a chance at "normal" relationships albeit bi or gay. I mean, when it's a time period in which talks about romance and relatioships all the time, it's hard to relate and find some way in which you don't feel isolated. Being bi for example, you may see two people you've had feelings for, flirt with eachother, and if that's enough to convince straight people that we don't mean them harm, as we're more confused than any straight person is at the age in which we're interrogated the most.

Now, what happened with lawrence king was bad, but how many people remember Matthew Shepard? I think if you examine that case you see far more into the descrimination on gays. He was offered a ride home from a guy at bar. Two guys actually I think. And you know, if you're gay, or even bi, and this is being offered, not only is it seen as an act of generousity, but I wonder how many men or women would turn down a ride from someone they found attractive, and under the same circumstances of rarity among finding someone to share romance with. Now, they played on his trust, they took him in their car, then drove out to some deserted area outside of town, and beat him to a bloody pulp, and I don't figuratively mean that; the only spot left on his body that didn't have blood, was where the tears went down his face. A biker found him and originally thought he was a scarecrow, he wasn't even dead at that point, he was in a coma though and died a few days later in the hospital. Now when people have this much offense towards us is when there's clearly an at least somewhat flawed view. Even more, was that at the trial, they used Matthew's being gay as a legal defense; they argued that they did it because he was hitting on them. They felt that would've been enough to convince the jury the killing was self defense.

I hate being political about things like this, but prop 8 is such a backwards step, I mean people casually find innocence in this and it's despicable. There's no problem at all with a mass of people taking rights away, because it's not their right. Blah, I dont' know anyone capable of reading this who would think otherwise anyway. Eddy, Christian, is deleted from my friends list. Teh mormon can have fun in hell.