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ASK YOURSELF in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple "I must," then build your life in accordance with this necessity..." - Rainer Maria Rilke
A lot to think about..?
Wednesday:

Quite enjoyable, as we had some testing that wasn't boring. (Maybe it was just me, I just thought they were WAY better than listening for hour-long lectures five periods a day.)

Then when Indiana Jones was playing in the Commons, I finished The Perks Of Being A Wallflower.

What can I say?It was amazing.

And then afterward, I was riding high on my book fevor when I wrote this bitsy piece of writing (on my bookmark that I carry around and never let any of you read off of).  I told Randi it was an epiphany but it was more like finally being able to put into words what I feel after a really, REALLY great book.  So I properly titled it "What I Could Never Put Into Words" (keep in mind I haven't edited it yet, or even intend to do so because I'm never going to write it again anywhere but here) :


We all spend the majority of our lives blind and deaf.  I suppose it's all very instinctual: something happens, we react.  It's not that our way of living, our mind frame, is one thinking of our own damning finite life force.  We simply Are.
But there are those moments, tiny glimpses of a space so far beyond normal comprehension, that sideswipes us.  An overpowering sensation of weightlessness and feeling heavy enough for the cement to fracture.  Of our brain ready to fly over the moon.  Of a mind clarity so lusciously sweet, yet too condensed to track a single thought for more than a few seconds.
But thinking is the last thing from our minds.  All we want is to bask in white infinity.  Perfect clarity.  Endless tranquility.  For we are on top of the world, floating, severed of all earthly ties in a permenant episode of glory.  Impossible to remember life Before.
And then it ends.  And we're left with a longing and lust pulling at our life strings.  We want to weep for our loss.
Because we tasted it.
We tasted infinity.


I guess that's it. It's just kind of how I feel after a great book, even though I used the "we" context.

Well, that day was pretty good except then I played my worst high school game in history and then my mum and Jenny started fighting in the car, so it ended very badly.

Today:

x_x

I felt wretched. I suppose that's the best word.

Spanish was bad and Algebra was even worse. Just moving hurt so much, and then I had to get on the damn floor because we had that damn safety drill and we were in the trailers (all of the windows didn't have curtains anyway, so it didn't matter if I was the only one at my desk or cowering on the floor because we'd all still end up dead). All of Walker's lecture was all this useless spattering of words that wouldn't put themselves in the right order in my head.

Then Euro. I was like, "I'm totally going to bomb this test. It isn't worth it." So Obi Wan Dorogi signed my agenda, and then I went to the nurse, who couldn't even give me any meds. But she said I could go home if I wanted, so I said, "Sure, why not?"

So I got a pass, got it signed by the lady in SAO, grabbed my stuff in Euro, got stopped by Otto (whatadick) for my agenda that I had on hand, then waited at the entrance for mi madre. She took a while, so I just reread my epiphany stated above. I wanted to wait outside, but I didn't know if someone would yell at me, so I didn't. sad

Madre picked me up, got a java frap for me, then dropped me off at home. I watched Aladdin on the Disney channel, Ni Hao Kai-Lan, and some of Paris Hilton's My New BFF because one of the guys named Onch or Anch makes me giggle (don't judge me, I was seriously not in the right of mind after taking who-knows-what). All the while with the heating pad on high and a drugged-up looking Max who I had to carry in my room SIX ******** TIMES before he would stay. Then I slept after. Then I ate mac n' cheese when everyone came home.

The end.






User Comments: [2] [add]
ChristeneDaae
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Fri Oct 17, 2008 @ 03:26am
ottow really is an a**
today during lunch i tired throwing my empty milk bottle into a trash can like, really far away, and i missed by like inches, and before he would even see if i was goign to get up and pick it up he like yelled "PICK THAT UP, UP THERE" so i just stood up and waved and gave him a thumbs up and a big smile
then when he turned around i flipped him off
a*****e


commentCommented on: Sat Oct 18, 2008 @ 03:15pm
surprised Randi!
... rofl



Weaselletta
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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