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People keep wondering about how I answer the question "how are you?". I always say I'm here or surviving, because that's literally what it is lately. I feel barely here these days. Just a piece of unused broken furniture that's still here because everyone is just too lazy to throw it out. I don't know what to say around people and my mind is full of unfriendly things, again. I feel so trapped and I never know what to do when I'm like this. I can't turn to anyone because I'm afraid of reactions, I don't know what to say, for some I can't turn to them because it's partly about them. I've been feeling like I did two years ago. I'm still looking for reasons to just stay put and things to do. I've been writing a lot more lately but most of the time I just sit in my room listening to the same songs over and over again. Everything keeps catching up with me at random times and I just start crying and don't know why. I just feel lost.