IIII
Gackt woke up to find that he was along in the hammock. He remembered You and looked at his watch. 7:45. Maybe You didn’t leave yet, he thought. He tossed out of the hammock and scurried inside. What he saw melted him. You at the table eating Fruity Pebbles.
“G’morring Gaght,” he said with his mouth full.
“G’morring You,” he mimicked, “Hurry up. I don’t want you to be late.”
“Will you walk me to school?” he asked finishing his cereal and putting it in the sink.
“Of course, I think the guys would appreciate these, ya?” Gackt suggested holing up their backpacks. You nodded. Gackt carried all of their backpacks, two on his back and one in one hand so he could hold You’s hand with the other. They left and walked the extremely short talk to You’s school. He gave You the backpacks and a warm hug.
“I’ll be here when you get back,” he patter his head and You sped off to be on time.
Gackt walked back and was in his house within two minutes. He went to his bedroom to check on Anita but he passed through the kitchen and she was cooking. She was always cooking. The practice showed through, though. He pounced upon her, startling her.
“Gah!” she screamed.
He began kissing and touching her repeatedly.
“What on Earth do you think you’re doing?” she asked stunned.
“I want you,” Gackt said kissing her neck and ears.
“What?!” she said even more bewildered.
He put his hands on her shoulders and looked at her with decisive eyes, “Let’s do it,” Gackt said barely.
“Do what?” she wondered looking him up and down.
“Let’s have children, together,” he said kissing her gently.
“Gackt, baby,” she began shaking her head, “You’re just a child yourself. When I said I wanted children, I didn’t mean right now,” she said merely.
Gackt blinked repeatedly for a good ten seconds, “But, I thought you said that you needed to do it soon if you were going to have any at all,” he was trying to fight tears but it didn’t seem he would be successful.
“I’m sorry, baby, but you’re my family, I just don’t think it’s right for us.”
Gackt gripped her shoulders tighter, “We would have the most perfect family. We would be the best parent . . .together,” Gackt was inches away from shattering.
“I’m sorry, honey, I just can’t,” she said, her eyes clouding up quickly.
Gackt walked away slowly to his room. He put his hand to his forehead. He already felt the thunder crashing in his head. He opened the door and felt a deep draft. He say upon his bed slowly. He leaned forward and looked at his hands. If only the fortune teller from four months ago was right.
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“Oh, my,” an older woman with dangling butter teeth and a never ending red scarf with a long red shawl said.
“What?! What is it?!” Gackt said worried.
“You have the most alluring and fortunate life ahead of you that I have ever seen,” she said, concentrating deeply into his hands.
“You weren’t born into the most caring family were you?” she asked still concentrating.
“Not at all,” he answered.
“You were very close with your grandmother?” she stated whether than asked.
“I never knew her,” Gackt claimed.
“It must be your grandfather then,” she laughed.
“I’ve been using my powers for so long, I can hardly tell the sex of a link anymore. I used to be real good. I could tell what they looked like and how they sounded. Power drifts as well as beauty, I suppose,” she said presenting herself as the subject.
“You’re lovely,” he said kissing her hands.
“Bless you,” she said sincerely.
“Bless you also, miss,” he sand back to her.
“I see . . .colors, lots of colors,” she claimed, “Paint splattered everywhere,” she said.
“The door. . .” he nodded.
“Your grandfather is telling me something about it,” she said trying to concentrate as hard as she could, sweat drops fell from her fiery red hair down to her dark brown eyes, “I can’t, it’s too much, darling,” she said grasping his hand.
“It is fine, I don’t want you to be hurt,” he wished.
“I see. . .” she said closing her eyes and swallowing, “Oh my . . .” she said very very baffled. He looked at her softly, “I see many children, very man children,” she said, “About twenty of them.” Gackt grinned showing his pearly white teeth. “One child . . .no two . . .no one . . .two . . .” she debated, “I think you will have two children of your own with an older woman you love very much,” she said happily.
“Thank you, thank you very much,” he said in a hurry to leave.
“Don’t you want to know how long you’ll live?” she said standing up. She felt she must tell him. It was big.
“I . . . I don’t know. . .” If he was going to die soon, he didn’t want to know about it.
“You’ll live to be 89 years old,” she said.
He smiled. Knowing he was to live a long time made him prosperous. He couldn’t place the small dejection he felt about it but he didn’t mind. He flew out of the fortune teller’s hut to tell Anita all about it.
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Gackt hadn’t noticed he had been crying the entire time he had remembered what he was told. Gackt was never one to cry to get what he wanted. The thought couldn’t help but cross his mind that Anita did want children, very bad. Maybe she just didn’t want to have any with him. To him, it made perfect sense. It wounded him to know she didn’t feel the same way. His headache was worse now. He waited for it to loosen up while taking deep breaths. He began to imagine what it would be like to care for his children. A jubilant feeling spread throughout him. He imagined holding the baby, kissing him or her and looking into his or her eyes. Playing with them and rescuing them from their tears. Feeding them and taking zillions of pictures, teaching them to walk and talk and the ways of a good person. He’d watch them sleep and cuddle with them. Hear them laugh and giggle about evanescent things. He imagined watching them grow and walking them to school after packing their lunches, helping them with their home work. He thought about every single step and melted inch by inch. He felt grisly and decided he needed to talk with someone. He couldn’t talk to Anita, that was a given. It seemed more like Yoshiki’s field anyway. He got up bit by bit, with the smirk on his face. He knew that Yoshiki would be able to help him somehow, someway, Yoshiki would help in a powerful way. He left the house without coming across Anita. He got in his little jeep fleetly but started thinking about children again. Maybe the children were out for recess. He made the choice to walk by the elementary school nearby called “Golden Elementary”. It was a fantastic but dismal name that Gackt liked. It made him merry in a charming way. He sighed in the 64 degree weather. He could already hear the laughter of small children. Gackt had ineffable timing.
He stopped at the fence where on the other side he could see children playing tag. He climbed over the fence non vocally.
“Gackt!” someone shouted.
He looked around to see a 6 foot 2 inch man with small glasses and a long brown beard waving at him against a wall of the school.
He jogged over to the shade and felt sunny.
“Mr. Lipmann!” he shouted giving him a large hug, “I’m astonished that you recognize and recollect me!” he said still hugging the man only two inches taller than he.
“Of course I remember you!” he began to whisper, “You were my favorite student.”
Gackt beamed. He felt flattered. He felt like a distinct character in the world.
“It’s time that I found out what you’re up to. Are you still in school or did you graduate?”
“I graduated when I was 16,” Gackt said, still stunned.
“Of course! You were such a bright student,” Mr. Lipmann said while sighing and recalling the earlier days.
Another teacher began to tamper Mr. Lipmann. Gackt took the free moment to lean over and look at the children. He observed the kids playing tetherball. He called to mind, a time back in Mr. Lipmann’s 5th grade class.
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The teacher called recess. They all got in a line to go outside and play until they had to return back to that stuffy room. It was another day to fit it. The ugly duckling was to bloom into a swan today. This day was different from the rest. Gackt, small, wimpy and ignored was going to make the difference today. Gackt went to the basketball courts. He watched for a while. He wanted to ask to play but his hear was beating out of his chest. Finally getting the courage to ask he did.
“May I play with you?” he asked silently.
They were all laughing. He knew his answer. He looked over to the girls playing hopscotch. They were his next target. He skipped over.
“May I play with you?” he asked in a hush tone.
“You don’t know how to play, Gackt! Go away!” one of the girls yelled.
“I do to know how to play. My friend taught me,” he said defending himself.
“You don’t have any friends,” they bullied.
Gackt moved on to the kids at the monkey bars. When he came near them, they all left. Gackt knew better than to follow them. He knew they left because of him. They always did. He could see many children playing a game with jump ropes called ‘mouse trap’. He headed over there feeling for sure he would be accepted there.
“May I play with you?” he asked shyly. They all paused and the air within reach became iced.
“I guess you can turn the rope,” a girl whom was turning the rope said, handing th handle to him as if he were infected with a contagious disease.
He began turning the rope. He was doing well in the beginning. Shortly after, he began to lose rhythm. They jeered at him and told him to play somewhere else. He moved to the kids at the table playing chess.
“May I watch you guys plat?” he asked restrained.
They both looked at him, “You’re distracting us.”
Gackt got u. His last chance was the kid digging a hole on the side of the school. Gackt didn’t want to get his clothes dirty but he didn’t want to be alone all the time like at home. He sat down.
“May I help you dig?” Gackt asked the same mute tone he had asked everyone else.
“It’s a solo project,” the dirty kid said.
Gackt nodded and got up and dusted himself off. He walked to a part of the fireld covered in dandelions.
Today is the same but tomarrow will be different. Maybe later on that day he would find someone to sit with at lunch. Gackt stopped putting faith into the thought that friends were important. They aren’t critical, if anything they’re worthless. But that opinion would change again the nest day. It always did and he knew it always would.
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His thoughts were interrupted by a small blond girl tugging on him and saying something he didn’t hear. He paid attention to the world now.
“Excuse me,” he said kindly to the young one.
“You’re it,” she said like an angel.
“Is that so?“ he said, bending down and looked at her and smiling, “I’m not playing though,” he said chuckling at her. She gave him a hug and quickly tagged someone else. He smiled and thought it was almost impossible for someone to be as cunning as she was.
“Her name is Annabelle,” Mr. Lipmann said.
“She’s cute,” Gackt stated.
“What were you thinking about?” Mr. Lipmann asked with concerned eyes looking into Gackt’s.
“Oh just. . .” Gackt sighed, “memories is all.”
They watched the children play, “Children can be cruel Gackt. It’s a part of growing up and learning,” Mr. Lipmann stated.
“Then why wasn’t I like that?” Gackt asked bluntly.
“You grew up too fast,” Mr. Lipmann laughed.
“Mr. Lipmann,” Gackt wondered, “Do you extract a time a while back when I was in the cafeteria and the kids, out of nowhere, held me down to a table and made me eat all their food? Smothering it in my hair and in my clothes. I got to eat lunch in your classroom. We listened to Beethoven and played Uno.” Gackt said laughing, “Do you remember that?” he said laughing more.
“I do,” Mr. Lipmann stated.
Gackt sighed, “We should do that again sometime.”
“Rain check?” Mr. Lipmann offered.
“Of course,” Gackt said with no thought, “I’ve been thinking about having children.”
“Children having children?” Mr. Lipmann said amazed, “That can’t be right.”
Gackt rolled his eyes, “So I’ve heard. You’ve said I matured tremendously though.”
“I have to take in the kids but maybe we can talk about it while playing Uno,” Mr. Lipmann suggested.
“Okay,” Gackt said while hugging him.
“Come over to the classroom after 3:00 someday,” Mr. Lipmann said waving to Gackt as he called the children inside.
Gackt began walking to Yoshiki’s apartment. Walking on the sidewalk he looked at all the people. They looked calm and collected. He began to grin when he saw a lady holding her young one’s hand while she told her how she finger-painted at school. Gackt never looked at eavesdropping as a bad thing. It was something he liked to do while he was out by himself. So many stories were being told and he wanted to listen to them. He could relate to a lot of them.
He looked up at Yoshiki’s apartment. The curtains were open which meant he wasn’t home. Gackt had a feeling he would be home soon enough. He decided he was going to wait in his apartment until he got back. Yoshiki never locked his door no matter what. He was afraid of locking it and losing his key. He entered his home silently and looked out the clear windows and say down looking outside them at the cars going back and fourth.
He soon got bored and turned around. He thought he could hear footsteps, maybe they were Yoshiki’s. The door opened and the ball of hair had entered.
“Gackt!” he yelled yet gasped, “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to talk with you,” Gackt said.
“Is everything okay?” Yoshiki said, about to cry. If Gackt was going to cry, then Yoshiki wasn’t far behind, no matter the situation.
“I want to have a baby with Anita,” Gackt said as calmly as he could muster.
Yoshiki gasped, “You guys did the nasty?!” he yelled.
“No,” Gackt said.
“Oh my gosh, you banged Anita?!” Yoshiki squealed.
“No,” Gackt repeated.
“You guys got it on!” Yoshiki screamed.
“No!” Gackt laughed.
“I can’t believe you guys did the HIPPITY DIPPITY!” Yoshiki laughed.
“No we didn’t damn it!” Gackt took his shoe and threw it at Yoshiki, “Shut up and listen, Jason!”
“My name is Yoshiki,” Yoshiki said sassily.
“Well, whatever!” Gackt said.
“So you guys didn’t have a happy hump day?” he asked laughing.
“YOSHIKI!” Gackt yelled.
“Okay, okay, okay,” Yoshiki said, “What’s on your mind?”
“She,” Gackt choked, “wants children.”
“So, it’s perfect!” Yoshiki raised his hand for a high five which Gackt rejected, “. . . What am I missing?” Yoshiki asked knowing something horrible was to come out of his mind.
“She doesn’t want to have them with me,” Gackt said plainly.
“Oh Gackt,” he consoled, sitting next to him and holding him and kissing him, “Maybe you misunderstood her,” he suggested.
“She said she ‘just couldn’t’,” Gackt said.
Yoshiki gasped, “I know what it is,” Yoshiki sang.
“What?” Gackt asked anxiously.
“Major seduction needs to be done here,” he said.
“Like what?” Gackt asked obliviously.
“You need to war my sexy suit,” Yoshiki got up and went to his dresser to get his suit.
“I don’t know about that. I mean, I don’t think it would work on Anita,” Gackt said, but Yoshiki was already stripping him and putting it on for him.
“Good thing we’re the same size,” Yoshiki smiled.
Gackt wouldn’t help but laugh at Yoshiki. Gackt fit perfectly in the suit. He looked lovely.
“You also need a change . . . Something to change you a bit, just a little,” Yoshiki hinted, “Like maybe you could change your cologne or put on a bit of make up. . .” Yoshiki said.
“What about dying my hair?” Gackt wondered, “I’ve been wanting to for a while.”
“Perfect! Go . . .blond . . .” Yoshiki said.
Gackt really thought it might work. He thought about it deeply while kissing Yoshiki goodbye. He walked out in the world with Yoshiki’s suit and everyone looked anxious this time. Anxious like he was. It seemed he had teleported to his home. He entered quietly to find Anita sleeping on the couch. He panicked and left to his room. He was out of breath. He put his hand on his heart and closed his eyes. Why was he so reluctant. He needed to have fresh air and as promptly as he could. He changed out of Yoshiki’s suit and put on his own clothes and opened the window to his bedroom and snuck out. He couldn’t conceive why he was so craven of how Anita would think of him. He never was. Why was today different. His heart was beating expeditiously as he ran to the park, the most peaceful and clement place he could think of. He crashed into a bench and panted. He heard something to the right of him. A hearty laugh is what is was.
“Where’d you come from, boy?” an old man said. He was almost bald. The little hair he did have was dove white and his spectacles were dirty and his overalls were perfect.
Gackt turned and looked at him still catching his breath. Gackt’s eyes were large and awestricken.
“What happened too ya, son?” he asked putting a hand on his shoulder.
Gackt sighed and relaxed his tense body, “I’m just nervous is all,” Gackt said smiling to the old man.
“Nervous about what?” he asked Gackt.
Gackt told him everything. He told him about everything and more. He told him all about Anita, then got into Yoshiki, even his biological family. How he could be so open with strangers, he wasn’t sure of, but he liked sharing his story with others willing to listen and share their opinions.
“So, I just left,” Gackt closed.
The hearty old man began to laugh, “Reminds me of my first time, or attempt at a first time, I should say,” he sat back. “I was so nervous I told her I had to watch my cousin’s sister’s mom’s daughter’s cousin’s cat.”
They both laughed joyously.
“At least you didn’t come out with something like that,” the old man said, “I am the only Bill in this little town,” he said holding out his hand.
“And I’m the only Gackt,” Gackt said shaking his hand firmly.
“Well I say son, you should go get ‘er,” he encouraged.
Gackt stood up after giving him and unexpected embrace, “I think I will! Thank you, Bill!” Gackt ran off and felt a sense that he really would be able to get her into it. He began to think of his approach while walking back. He decided something quick and simple. While entering his home, he did not feel nervous. Not one bit. It was quiet and he didn’t feel the urge to do it anymore. He didn’t want to perplex Anita. He decided to sit and read until the urge came again. He began to read a book called, “At Great Heights” by Light. The book was about a young woman and an old man whom board a plane and sit by each other and the old man falls in love with her. At the end she gets up and leaves with her lover and the old man has a heart attack and dies. This book was Gackt’s favorite. He loved how his Light wrote. He left Gackt all eighteen of his books which Gackt loved. He would read them over and over. They were the only books that Gackt owned. He had revently given the rest of them away. Gackt had read into the late hours. He had finished hald of the book. It was 10:00 in the night. He made the choice to take a nap before trying to seduce Anita. He went into his kitchen to get a glass of water. He sat down and laid his head down and slowly fell asleep on the countertop.
