Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Okay so yesterday and today I had a HORRID time being nice. I had been pretty mean the ENTIRE day to EVERYONE I spoke to because I was sleep deprived and remembered some pretty shitty info. Pardon my French but I'm really ******** pissed off. So I start the day with a nightmare, I wake up at about 1-3 in the morning and go on Gaia to check and change it. I soon log off, trying not to think of said nightmare and go back to sleep. I wake up AGAIN at about 7 to my annoying alarm even though its thanksgiving break, but luckily I'm tired enough to go back to sleep. I have the exact same nightmare, only it was worse. I wake back up at about noon and go down stairs. First thing I see is that my little sister is using the comp and though she USUALLY gives it to me because we have 2 comps, she doesn't, and yells instead. That set me off. We didn't have any food to make except really nasty cereal, and I'm too lazy and poor to go driving to CVS to get myself something. I had the day off, which is why I slept in. As soon as I get the comp I get on and message my girlfriend to see if shes awake, turns out she is but shes with her friend and shes going to the mall. That set me off... I REALLY wanted to go out with her all day, but it ALSO turned out that she was spending the night at said friend's house. That TOO set me off.

She got me an early Christmas present today and that made me kinda happy, but still, I couldn't see her. So I decided to stay home today, and I was on Gaia ALL day... I didn't play my video games like I usually do. I usually play Left 4 Dead, Dead Space or Far Cry 2 to pass the time, but for some odd reason, none of them felt appealing to me... so I played Ragnarök Online with my friend Jade. After a while THAT got irritating because I kept getting disconnected from the server.

After I decided to stop playing Ragnarök, I started messaging Acelynn, and passed about 2-3 hours before I started breaking down... I was thinking about the nightmare all day and when I thought about it while talking to her I just started freaking out completely... She made me happy as soon as I small her smile over webcam... she was the only reason I had a good day... after about 2:45 AM my time, I started breaking down again... I don't even know why, and now I'm finishing this Journal at 3:07 my time.