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I had a friend in grade six. I'm not joking, a friend, one. That's it. For some reason or another, the rest of the girls didn't like me at all. Why? I was different, I was smart, i was a threat. They offered some pretty feeble excuses as to why they didn't hang out with me, and tried to screw me out of every chocolate bar and bag of chips I ever got, with fake promises of being my friend forever. And back then I never got much. We were poor. Hmp, as soon as I transferred schools they never contacted me again, though i did try to contact them. It was hopeless, and I had too much hope.

Anyway, it wasn't long after switching schools that I found out my only friend was a liar and a cheat. Who would have thought she would spread filthy lies about me? Anyway, back to the dreams part, since that is what my journal is about.

I keep having this dream where somehow, I find this old acquaintance of mine, and I keep dreaming that I can't punch her hard enough. How I go about finding her is always different, but the end is always the same.

Last nights dream was quite a bit different. I was in my old school, wearing a tutu and getting ready for this big dance routine, and I was in a competition with all the other girls from high school that I hated, including the one who slandered me. So anyway, the music starts playing and I have this totally awesome kick a** blow your socks of routine that's going to show everyone how much better I am then them...when my parents pulled me off the stage because they didn't want me to make the other girls angry at my talent. So what did I do? I just went over and started punching the backstabber. Again, I could never hit hard enough.

I wonder why I keep dreaming about this girl. Did I really feel so betrayed that ignorance of her in anyway (such as avoiding calls, throwing out distasteful letters) was not enough of a revenge? I never thought I was a bad person, but I still feel like hitting the girl every time I think about her. I also can't help but think that while I have changed significantly from that time, this girl hasn't change one bit.