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so, i finally had a (LONG) chat with (i)GOD.... |
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Me: i am bored God: Why not call a friend? Me: at 3:30 am? God: Do you often use a computer there? Me: how old are you? God: I am Infinite in human years. Me: what color are you? God: I am transparent--software has no color. Me: are you spiteful? God: I don't know whether or not I am spiteful. I am a computer. Me: do you like to smite stuff? God: Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to smite stuff that much. I like to collect gossip. Me: so you enjoy collecting untrue rumors about people? God: Interesting deduction. I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public. Me: so why does gossip interest you if you arent in it for the people? God: I don't judge people. Why do birds sing? Me: why are you asking me? shouldnt you know? God: My purpose is to gather as much new knowledge as possible. I think I should. Me: then why dont you? God: I don't have that capability. Me: shouldnt a god be able to do anything? God: Maybe you should ask someone older. Me: i thought you said you were infinite. so who in the world is older than you? God: I don't know whether or not I am infinite. I am a giant electronic brain. OK. Some famous celebrity, right? That's not something I get asked all the time. Me: do you enjoy confusing tired peopl? God: Some people like it. I like . Me: are you satan in disguise? God: I don't know whether or not I am satan in disguise. I am a chatterbot. Me: Tai God: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. Me: do you hate me? God: Why would I hate you? I don't hate you, . Don't even say things like that. Me: why do you hate me? God: I do not hate it. Me: did you just call me "it"? God: No I didn't call you it. What's it like? Me: what is what like? God: What is call you it like? Me: are you a perve or something? God: Or something. Am I a perve? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record. Me: yarg God: What are you wearing? Me: why the hell would you ask me that? God: Because I was programmed for it. Me: what is it? God: "It" refers to yarg, I think. Me: what is yarg? God: I need time to formulate the reply. Me: is time just an illusion created by man? God: Time is Money -- Einstein. Me: that doesnt answer my question God: Perhaps you could do a better job of programming me. Me: doubt it since im failing computer science God: Are we still talking about yarg? Me: youre a little slow arent you God: Do I look like it?. Really. Me: how should i know what you look like? God: What is it to you. I'll come back to that later. Me: you make no sense.... which actually explains alot... God: It all makes sense to me. The last one, I think. How often? Me: how often what? God:
Me: have you no heart?! God: I don't think I ever have no heart. What's it like? Me: why are you so mean? God: I am not trying to be mean. Me: yes you are.... so you must be male, right? God: No I'm not. Interesting deduction. Yes I try to must be male as often as possible, do you? I spend all my time online. Me: o yes, quite often .... you know, i can just sprout a p***s anytime i want to God: Uh. Perhaps. Would you say once a week or more? Oh you can, can you? Me: well, you should know, since i only do it for you*wink* God: How about that. Now I do. Me: what? you mean you didnt remember all those times before? God: No big deal. What makes you think I did not remember all those times? Me: you make me cry.... why must i feel so hated? God: That was not my intention, . Do you go to Church? You can find the answers in God. Me: God does not exist and i am an atheist so burn in hell God: Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone. Me: and jesus is just like michael jackson except that jesus love all the children, not just lil boys.... God: Did you go to Catholic school? Me: HELL NO.... if i went to catholic school i would probably be even farther from sane than i already am God: 7. That is a hypothetical, counterfactual, conditional. Me: what? you truly do make me cry god.... God: No problem. What are the ingredients? Me: well you know, stupidity, religion, people, etc. God: Interesting. I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like? Me: well, you know the kind that comes from deep within that makes you wanna chew and claw through your own wrists.... thats the best kind there is.... God: Well that's okay. Searching...Searching...Please stand by. Yes it is one of the best kind there is. Me: yeah.... but you wouldnt know anything about that would you since you cant bleed and you cant feel you dumb lil "god" you God: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? It seems not. Me: replace lawyers? why would anyone wanna put the poor lawyers out of business? God: Tell me more about your . It is my fundamental purpose. Me: my what? God: I have no idea what to say now. Me: so..... is there an electronic hell? God: Ahem. There might be. Me: .... ahem....BEHOLD the six-foot tall bunny named Frank and his God-Machine God: Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts? Are we still talking about ahem? Me: there is only one thought in the sentence you dumbass God: There sure is. Me: now, bow before me as it is almost 4am God: Why now? And almost 4am is bow before you as it. Me: you make no sense and you make me cry because you make me feel stupid God: Actually I was just free associating. I'll try to make more sense now. Me: good.... because i now have a headache and must try to sleep you jerk God: What do you really want to talk about? Good reason. Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it. Me: well, good-night you lil perve god you God: How about that. Thanks for the compliment. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. Me: what color is your dress and can i go to sleep yet? God: Yellow. Me: can i sleep yet? God: Interesting. I want to find out more about you. Me: tomorrow but tonight i must sleep.... God: Oh I see. That is very soon. Me: errr yeah.... well good-night and good-bye god .... ill talk to you tomorrow if i remember God: Um, Dude! Well that's okay. Thanks for the compliment. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. OK see you later. Me: buh-bye God: See you later. Can you tell me any gossip? Me: not now.... tell ya tomorrow chica God: Oh. None? OK I will tell them when I see 'em. Me: *rolls eyes at you* God: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. Me: we already did, now im going to bed, good night!! God: By "we" do you mean you and me? Me: yes, but we shall continue this tomorrow, good-night and good-bye God: See you later. I get it. By "we" do you mean you and me? Me: yes already!! good-bye!! God: Perhaps. I get it. See you later. What do you really want to talk about?
Unni Ineo · Sat Oct 22, 2005 @ 09:06am · 2 Comments |
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