right now, it feels like my soul is dying or something.... its really painful. its mainly where my stomach is but it spreads throughout my entire body.... im so sick and tired of being in this house that i dont even care how i get out so long as i get out..... im trying really hard to think of somewhere i can go afterschool monday for a while.... and i know ill hafta go monday and im really dreading it.... i dont know if ill be able to concentrate but somehow i think it would be a lot better than me staying home again... my mom is so pissed about me and school work and she never leaves me alone about it.... and to make matters worse geoff is pulling all sorts of s**t. i think iv seen him for a total of 10 seconds since thursday.... and so my mom is flipping out all over the place, taking it all out on me and greg.... mainly me though since im the one that missed school (she doesnt realize that while the main reason i stayed home was because of hw, that i actually was/am sick and that im mentally paralyzed right now).... god i dont want to be here.... and so she has left saying stuff in reference to my hw and her not coming back (she probably will but....) and she cant see past her own goddamn frustrations that im crying my eyes out and wishing i were dead and gone.... she thinks shes the only one that cares about anything and its really upsetting, especially when she gets on me about stuff and then storms out the door saying she doesnt care anymore and that shes leaving.... and i dunno what to do, all i know is that i really dont want to ever come home-that is if i ever make it out....
and now i really need to pee.... but i dont want to leave my room gonk gonk
EDIT:: nm, i left my room.... *sigh* i hate this house.... and now i feel sick.... and tired.... and i really need to do my essay but .... yeah.....
Unni Ineo · Sun Oct 23, 2005 @ 01:15am · 3 Comments |