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This isn't an actual journal entry. Like I said last time in the journal though, I'm going to start putting up my theories on things like Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc. Todays theory is Santa Claus, just because Christmas passed recently. So, here it is:

Santa isn't really some fat guy that lives at the North Pole that has elves who work for him and reindeer to drive his sleigh. Santa is really a fat and rich hillbilly that lives in Texas. He doesn't have elves. He goes to local Targets and Toy'R'Us. The whole thing with reindeer flying a sleigh across the sky - that's so fake. It's a hologram. Rudolph, the front reindeer, doesn't really have a red nose. That's just a malfunction in the hologram machine that nobody has felt like fixing. You may wonder how he gets across the world in one night, right? I know how; he doesn't. He's racist and skips all of Asia and Africa. (No offense to anybody, but it's the truth.) The way he get's toys in the house is because he doesn't go down the chimney. He's really good at picking locks. You don't feel very safe now, do you? And if you're wondering how he became rich - because I know everyone cares about that - it's because the government pays him to act like Santa. They wanted some person to divert the attention of Christmas away from Christ and his birth to getting presents.

Anyways, if you have any questions about my theory, go ahead and ask me. I'm prepared for any questions! cool