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What did the potato chip say to the battery?
"If you're Eveready, I'm Frito-lay."

Why is a p***y like a coffin?
It can only handle one stiff at a time.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they ********?
They have cotton balls.

What did one lesbian say to the other?
"Let's go down to the cucumber patch and do pushups."

How can you tell if a girl is ticklish?
Give her your test-tickle.

Doc examining patient: "Big breaths."
Patient: "Yeth, and I'm not even thixteen!"

What's blue and comes in Brownies?
Cub Scouts.

Two conceited people ********.
She: "Aren't I tight?
"He: "No, just full."

When is a wet dream hazardous?
When you're under a electric blanket.

Why did the Dairy Queen get pregnant?
The Burger King forgot to wrap his Whopper.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic and so am I.

Why do Texan girls walk bowlegged?
Everything's BIG in Texas.

How did Dolly parton get two black eyes?
She went jogging and forgot to wear a bra.

If nuts on a wall are walnuts and nuts on a chest are chestnuts, what are nuts on a chin?
A blow job.