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I have no idea why I'm writing this entry. I think of what's the point. I also feel like leaving Gaia. I can say this so sincerely, but when I think of the money I've spent here it feels like a waste. I don't care of the time I wasted here. It really doesn't matter as I was a teenager, oh let's say, two months ago.
I also don't think I've ever been so happy. I've been anticipating turning twenty since high school. Just to get away from my teen years makes me want to kneel and thank Father time for rewarding me with letting me live long enough to get it through. Although, I also resent him that he hadn't stopped my time before those horrible years.
One of the funny things that I've noticed is how much people haven't changed. There are only two people that I know have. One is, thankfully, the only person I can consider my friend. When we first met we were both a lot alike that even people would confuse us for twins. (I felt sorry for her) Throughout we both have changed. Her's I think has become more noticeable. I'm happy to see her live through a good period and I'm even more happy that her mind isn't stuck in the mentality of highschool brainless girl. Well, the next person isn't much of a friend but hey she's pregnant now so that counts right?
In a few ways, I am sad at the loss of some people. Still, if I kept talking to them I wouldn't have changed much. Your friends always reflect the person you are. Although, I only have one I think that's the best reflection of myself. I could be no more happier.
Happiness.
My sister always tells me to get a life. I laugh at her and tell her why if I'm happy. Content with my life. I have no problems. I have misunderstanding but loving parents. Even though I want to work I don't have a job and that gives me time to do one of my most favorite pastimes: Think. I don't have a care in the world and I'm happy with life. Smiling, laughing, giggling for no reasons as I look up at the ceiling. Think me crazy but I find more joy from the smallest things.
A lot of people always pity me for being alone or looking depressed but really I'm not. I actually like myself for being a "loner." It's much easier and I always have company. Very beautiful company. heart