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OKAY!
So there was this guy, Tommy, and his gf, Jessie.
It was his gf's birthday.
"I want to take a shower with you." Jessie asked.
"No" said Tommy.
"But it's my birthday." Jessie said.
"Fine then."

So they take a shower together.
"Who's that?" Jessie asked looking down.
"My friend Timmy." answered Tommy.
"Can I play with Timmy?"
"No."
"But it's my birthday."
"Fine then."

After they took a shower Jessie asked, "Can we sleep together?"
Tommy said no
But Jessie said again "But it's my birthday"
Tommy gave in and said "Fine then."

When he woke up he found himself in the hospital and Jessie was with him.
"What happened last night?" he asked.
"I was playing with Timmy while you were sleeping, and he spit on me. So I got mad and bit him off."