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ASK YOURSELF in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple "I must," then build your life in accordance with this necessity..." - Rainer Maria Rilke
So many medical problems..
"A beautiful discord" so fits my mind right now.

Dammit, I was so kind of happy yesterday.

Went to the library after taking the drug survey lightning fast only to find out no one else was let out of homeroom. So the tiny piece of time I thought I would've been able to spend with my apparant reconciled friends flew out the window. I swear, I've had to talk to Matt Harris more than both of you combined..

Gosh dammit, I just feel so sick that my best friends didn't want to be friends. For a month. A month where no matter what I tried to do, I couldn't fix anything. My two best friends, and I couldn't fix it. And now it's all okay?

I don't understand.

This is so depressing, talking about mental problems. So on to the physical:

I self-diagnosed myself with low blood pressure after finally googling the reason why I always get dizzy after standing up. And low and behold, I told my mother and she confirmed that she had low blood pressure as a teen. Just another thing to bring up to the doctor, because all the dizziness is really annoying, especially in the mornings when I jump out of bed and then my brain drops into my feet and I swoon uncontrollably. >_>

Also, I have my ankle appointment tomorrow; supposed to find out whether I need surgery or not. It's kind of scary to think about, but then, I've always wanted to experience it.

In Bio we spent the entire class taking notes on cancer. And all I could think about was seeing Jackie in that ******** hospital bed, getting morphine pumped into her collapsing veins. About getting woken up at two in the morning and being the one to tell my parents that she finally died.

What the ******** is with all this depression?

Good point: waited at the school with Jake for our mommies to show up, listening to Emerald Sword. Then later I find out we were both picked up to go to the orthodontist, as he walks in there later. xd At the end he says, "Bye Meg Meg," but the head dude thought he was talking to him, so he said, "Bye" right back. rofl

They put two chains on. My teeth hurt..





 
 
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