Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Stupid in school by Brian Regan:

Brian :you know I would have been a lot better off if I studied more
when I was growing up y'know but u know where it all went wrong was the day they started the spelling bee
because up intill that day I was an idiot but knowone else knew. when the spelling bee day popped up..

Teacher: Alright kids up against the wall its time for public humiliation, spell a word wrong-sit down in front of your friends

Brian: that's great for the little egos, hey look at me i'm a moron. I wasn't even close, I was usin' numbers an stuff. Thats why I admired that kid who spelled it wrong on purpose so he could sit down. he knew he wasnt going to win,so why stand there for 3 hours?

Teacher: first round, 'cat'

kid:K -A-T i'm outta here

Brian: then as he passed you," ha I know there's two T's." I remember when the teacher asked me..

Teacher: Brian...whats the 'i' before 'e' rule?

Brian: umm....'i' before 'e'....always

Teacher: what, are you an idiot brian?

Brian: apparently..so she explains it

Teacher: No Brian its 'i' before 'e' except after 'c' and when sounding like 'a' as a neighbor in weigh and on weekends and holidays and all throughout May and you'll always be wrong no MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!!

Brian: that's a hard rule..that's a rough rule... plurals were hard too..

Teacher: Brian how do you make a word a plural?

Brian: you put a 's'...put a 's' at the end of it

Teacher: when?

Brian: On weekends and holidays

Teacher: No Brian, let me show you

Brian:So she asked the kid who knew everything, Irwin

Teacher: Irwin, whats the plural for ox?

Irwin: oxen..the farmer used his oxen

Teacher: Brian?

Brian: wha-a-at

Teacher: Brian whats the plural for box?

Brian: Boxen. I bought 2 boxen of doughnuts

Teacher: no Brian no, lets try another one. Irwin what is the plural for goose?

Irwin: geese, I saw a flock..of geese

Teacher: Brian?

Brian: Wha-a-at?

Teacher: whats the plural for moose?

Brian: MOOSEN!! I saw a flock of MOOSEN!! There were many of them, many much moosen, out in the woods.. in the wood-es..in the woodsen, the meese want the food in the woodesen..food is the eatenesen the meese want the food in the woodesenes...food in the woodesenes.

Teacher: Brian..your an imbecle

Brian: imbecilen!

Teacher: are you speaking German Brian?

Brian: German Germaine, Germaine, Jackson..Jackson..5 - TITO!

Teacher: Brian what the hell are you talkin' about?

Brian: idk...I dont know really.... I think the worst day was the day the science project was due, waking up that morning, that was fun huh? Your head would pop off that pillow, oh no..that's due today.. I had nine months to work on it I did nothing...I have a cardboard box..of boxen, And you'd show up, your scared because you didn't have anything good and you found out all the other kids, their parents made theirs for them,I hated that yanno? Their backing them up on flatbed trucks. One kid had a volcano... he didn't know how to zip up his own pants but he built a volcano..."how'd you swing that?" I didn't know what to do for my project so I brought in a paper cup filled with dirt, just hoping that she'd know I'm an idiot and just walk on past me just as long as I was holding something...

Teacher: what do you have there Brian?

Brian: its a cup of dirt.. just put an 'F' on it there and let me go home

Teacher: well explain it

Brian: Well its a cup..with dirt in it..I call it 'Cup of Dirt' You should move on now. Just go ahead and move on now. Head on down the line there. So she went to this kid one kid; there's a kid in my class who made the same solar system like 19 years in a row, a bunch of Styrofoam balls held together with coat hangers. hey you breaking some new ground there Copernecus, hes goin'..

Kid: THE BIG YELLOW ONE IS THE SUN!! THE YELLOW ONE IS THE SUN!

Teacher: Ok, alright what are these other planets?

kid: THE BIG YELLOW ONE IS THE SUN!

Teacher: alright calm down

Kid: wh- ALRIGHT!!

The end =3