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Not Eatting
Well... I suppose this will be my first journal entry. Too bad it has to be a bad one..
Most, or some, of you know that I have been sick for almost a week. Why? It is due to not eating. I'm a 21 year old that weights 86lbs. Yea... 86lbs, pretty underweight, wouldn't you say? I get distracted really easily. When I'm occupied with something, I tend to forget to eat and sometimes I can't even tell if I'm hungry or not, until I feel like I'm going to throw up. For some reason it's really hard for me to gain weight. I had 3 slices of pizza, the same amount my bf had, and 2 hours later I was hungry again and he was still full. I weighed myself after I had ate and I didn't gain a single pound. Even a few days after the food had digested into my system, I still didn't gain anything. Me not eating, and having a very high metabolism, isn't exactly "good".
When I got sick, the room felt like it was spinning and I started to feel like I was going to throw up. I had to lay down for a while. Even when I did, the room was still spinning. The next day, I could barley eat. Every time I went to open my mouth to eat, I felt like throwing up. The light from the computer and the t.v. seemed to make me even more nauseous. I wasn't sure why. The light usually makes my head hurt from time to time, but it was never this bad. Of course.. this was only the first day I had gotten sick.
Over the past few days, I've been able to eat, not a lot, but it was enough to prevent me from getting sick. I began to eat more and more, eating soups to sandwiches, to fruit and some soda. I'm gradually working my way back to normal.
I tried going out a little bit yesterday and today. I can't move too fast or else I will feel sick. I can't wait until this is over..
To tell you the truth, I thought I was going to die, but I didn't feel scared. I felt...normal. Maybe I knew that I was going to get through this and that it wasn't my time to go, no matter how dumb I am.
I keep feeling sick to my stomach and dizzy around 11 p.m. my time.. and a little bit when I first wake up. I feel a lot better when I'm sleeping, but when I wake up, everything's weird. I'm pretty sure it will all go away the more I eat.
I have a feeling that this.. will probably scare me enough to make sure I eat, but I do tend to forget sometimes. I can't help it. When I need to do something, I do it under no circumstances. Which.. needs to stop.
So far, I can be on the computer as long as I'm laying down. I can't sit up and type, so I have my "on-screen keyboard" activated and magnifier going to help me do what I need to do. I have been able to sit up and type on the normal keyboard lately, which is a good sign.
Well.. I'm going to end this up.
It's about 11:35 p.m. and I'm feeling a little sick and lonely. My bf's out in the other room playing D&D with our roommates... Sometimes his games go on for 10 hours or so.. that was last time. This time he said that the game won't go on past Midnight. The game starts at 6 p.m. and ends... whenever. It's been 6 and a half hours so far.. It's a good thing that this only happens on Sundays.
I'm just sitting here, writing this journal and listening to some music while eating strawberry yogurt.
And now, I'm going to finish eating and going to bed.
G'night and thank you for reading..
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